thank you for the replies. put off checking until today, fear of answers. all the replies made me realise i forgot a big important thing. i don't even know the name of my grandad. it just never came up, it was made clear he was not a nice person and so he was never spoken about. my nan had remarried...

so this is just a crap situation as far as i can tell. emailed dfa a few years ago and never got a reply. short and sweet as i can make it: grandfather, born in ireland in the 40s. estranged from family in the 70s, presumed dead due to his lifestyle. his daughter, my mother born in england. now also...