Abusive sponsor .....please help a friend

[sanjacs]

Its the circumstances at the time of the decision that matter and not at time of the application, so if by the time the decision was made the marriage broken down she wouldn't qualify for ilr on the basis of their relationship. However clearly the fact that she has two British children means that she should not be removed and should e granted some form of leave. Who are the children living with? She needs to obtain a copy of the police report and evidence of the non molestation order etc.

having children does NOT mean you cannot be removed.

let me say it like this. she came here to uk for him. he didnt want to be with her, their relationship broke down, and rightfully she should have then no reason to stay here in uk any more.

she can technically go and take care of her kids in her own country.

she has to take custody first.

HOWEVER if she was abused, thats a different thing. Then she deserves to stay.

if she has made a life for herself and wants her kids to see their father too then she should apply for SET(DV) and say she was abused.

Thanks for your replies guys...

She was married to him in their home country ever before he applied to come to the UK, so I think its wrong to say that she came to the country for him.

I dont think that because she was on a dependant visa, she should have less rights than him (though it appears to be so at the moment). They had the kids here and she is an active carer for her kids as well as been a full time employed professional.

Why should the man have rights to settle here, and she denied the rights???? I'm not asking any of you, but I think the UKBA needs to have a good look at this. Spouses are not luggages that can be brought and removed at will, they're humans and they do not have to endure abuse because they need to be on their spouses visa!

My question now is, can she go and apply under Set DV now, seeing that her stay had expired since June 2012? Does she not have to be on a current visa to do that?

so she doesnt have a visa currently? here illegally at the moment?[/quote


No, she's not illegal she applied with him last June, and have only just been given refusal last month.

As you know, they had to apply within 28 days of visa expiring...and this is now 9 months later!

[sanjacs]

you said the sponsor was abusive. this changes EVERYTHING.

use SET(DV) http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas ... t%28dv%29/

also contact southall black sisters.

read this too http://www.londonelegance.com/transpond ... c-violence

about the registration of birth, i thought only mother could register and if father is present, the mother has to be present as well.

Sorry, not registration of birth, but registration of the kids as British citizens..

if the father was on ilr and mother was on limited leave, only the father can rgister them as british citizens. so nothing wrong there.[/quote]

No, I never said anything was wrong there too

[sh1981]

having children does NOT mean you cannot be removed.

let me say it like this. she came here to uk for him. he didnt want to be with her, their relationship broke down, and rightfully she should have then no reason to stay here in uk any more.

she can technically go and take care of her kids in her own country.

she has to take custody first.

HOWEVER if she was abused, thats a different thing. Then she deserves to stay.

if she has made a life for herself and wants her kids to see their father too then she should apply for SET(DV) and say she was abused.

Thanks for your replies guys...

She was married to him in their home country ever before he applied to come to the UK, so I think its wrong to say that she came to the country for him.

I dont think that because she was on a dependant visa, she should have less rights than him (though it appears to be so at the moment). They had the kids here and she is an active carer for her kids as well as been a full time employed professional.

Why should the man have rights to settle here, and she denied the rights???? I'm not asking any of you, but I think the UKBA needs to have a good look at this. Spouses are not luggages that can be brought and removed at will, they're humans and they do not have to endure abuse because they need to be on their spouses visa!

My question now is, can she go and apply under Set DV now, seeing that her stay had expired since June 2012? Does she not have to be on a current visa to do that?

so she doesnt have a visa currently? here illegally at the moment?[/quote


No, she's not illegal she applied with him last June, and have only just been given refusal last month.

As you know, they had to apply within 28 days of visa expiring...and this is now 9 months later!

did you call southall black sisters?

[sanjacs]

Thanks for your replies guys...

She was married to him in their home country ever before he applied to come to the UK, so I think its wrong to say that she came to the country for him.

I dont think that because she was on a dependant visa, she should have less rights than him (though it appears to be so at the moment). They had the kids here and she is an active carer for her kids as well as been a full time employed professional.

Why should the man have rights to settle here, and she denied the rights???? I'm not asking any of you, but I think the UKBA needs to have a good look at this. Spouses are not luggages that can be brought and removed at will, they're humans and they do not have to endure abuse because they need to be on their spouses visa!

My question now is, can she go and apply under Set DV now, seeing that her stay had expired since June 2012? Does she not have to be on a current visa to do that?

so she doesnt have a visa currently? here illegally at the moment?[/quote


No, she's not illegal she applied with him last June, and have only just been given refusal last month.

As you know, they had to apply within 28 days of visa expiring...and this is now 9 months later!

did you call southall black sisters?

Many thanks for that information. I have asked her to call them, and would post when I hear anything from her.

[shenibbs7]

Hi sanjacs and everyone,

I'm in a bit similar situation with your friend.
I really understand how she feels now.

6 months before my application for ILR(Earlier in 2012), my British husband's mental abuse has started. But I couldn't tell anybody cause I have been really scared if I can't get ILR.

So I let him say whatever he wants, even if I feel depressed and helpless.
I've obeyed like a slave him till now.

Fortunately, I could apply with help of my husband.
But, I was refused yesterday.

Now I have to struggle to appeal alone.
Yeah, I'm so scared now.

Pls tell her 'You're not ALONE!'
Like sanjacs, there're many nice helpful people out there in this country.
And stay positive, positive mind would bring success, I'm sure!
Sorry I can't give advice here.

Fingers crossed, let's move on x

[sh1981]

Hi sanjacs and everyone,

I'm in a bit similar situation with your friend.
I really understand how she feels now.

6 months before my application for ILR(Earlier in 2012), my British husband's mental abuse has started. But I couldn't tell anybody cause I have been really scared if I can't get ILR.

So I let him say whatever he wants, even if I feel depressed and helpless.
I've obeyed like a slave him till now.

Fortunately, I could apply with help of my husband.
But, I was refused yesterday.

Now I have to struggle to appeal alone.
Yeah, I'm so scared now.

Pls tell her 'You're not ALONE!'
Like sanjacs, there're many nice helpful people out there in this country.
And stay positive, positive mind would bring success, I'm sure!
Sorry I can't give advice here.

Fingers crossed, let's move on x

you know what im so sorry i dont mean to be the one to say the 'wrong' thing but it clearly shows that if you are tolerating his abusive behavior JUST to get ILR then you really were with him for the visa, not for him. why cant you go back to your homeland? and why take the abuse? at least report it to someone! there are laws for this sort of thing and i just cant understand why people would take abuse just for a visa, no wonder it got rejected.

[Amber]

Hi sanjacs and everyone,

I'm in a bit similar situation with your friend.
I really understand how she feels now.

6 months before my application for ILR(Earlier in 2012), my British husband's mental abuse has started. But I couldn't tell anybody cause I have been really scared if I can't get ILR.

So I let him say whatever he wants, even if I feel depressed and helpless.
I've obeyed like a slave him till now.

Fortunately, I could apply with help of my husband.
But, I was refused yesterday.

Now I have to struggle to appeal alone.
Yeah, I'm so scared now.

Pls tell her 'You're not ALONE!'
Like sanjacs, there're many nice helpful people out there in this country.
And stay positive, positive mind would bring success, I'm sure!
Sorry I can't give advice here.

Fingers crossed, let's move on x

you know what im so sorry i dont mean to be the one to say the 'wrong' thing but it clearly shows that if you are tolerating his abusive behavior JUST to get ILR then you really were with him for the visa, not for him. why cant you go back to your homeland? and why take the abuse? at least report it to someone! there are laws for this sort of thing and i just cant understand why people would take abuse just for a visa, no wonder it got rejected.

If only life were that simple. It's actually often very difficult to leave abuse. Moreover, in certain cultures women are killed if they leave their husbands as they're seen to dishonour the family. It's very easy to tell someone to leave abuse but actually very frightening to experience it. Some people are very good at making you feel worthless.

[shenibbs7]

Of course, not for visa.
Ive thought its my duty to stop him not good behaviour as wife.
Yes, I still love him.

I'd like to say we shouldn't use visa for threatening.
And we have to be strong.
If we are mean to others, others would be mean,too.

Hope sanjacs's friend is not cursing her partner...
Negativity just ruin our happiness, I think

[sh1981]

Of course, not for visa.
Ive thought its my duty to stop him not good behaviour as wife.
Yes, I still love him.

I'd like to say we shouldn't use visa for threatening.
And we have to be strong.
If we are mean to others, others would be mean,too.

Hope sanjacs's friend is not cursing her partner...
Negativity just ruin our happiness, I think

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

however i have absolutely NO respect for people who bear abuse under any pretext, whether they're trying to uphold their so called family honour, or even for children, as they'd be better off living in an abuse-free environment.

do yourself a favour and start recording his 'verbal abuse', invest in a cam.

[PaperPusher]

Of course, not for visa.
Ive thought its my duty to stop him not good behaviour as wife.
Yes, I still love him.

I'd like to say we shouldn't use visa for threatening.
And we have to be strong.
If we are mean to others, others would be mean,too.

Hope sanjacs's friend is not cursing her partner...
Negativity just ruin our happiness, I think

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

however i have absolutely NO respect for people who bear abuse under any pretext, whether they're trying to uphold their so called family honour, or even for children, as they'd be better off living in an abuse-free environment.

do yourself a favour and start recording his 'verbal abuse', invest in a cam.

What on earth????????????

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

Where does this duty come from? The how-to-abuse-your-wife-and-ensure-she-is-unable-to-access-any-support wife beating handbook?????????????

That sort of so-called duty gets women MURDERED.

Keep it in the family until she is dead? What a load of cr@p.

[Amber]

Of course, not for visa.
Ive thought its my duty to stop him not good behaviour as wife.
Yes, I still love him.

I'd like to say we shouldn't use visa for threatening.
And we have to be strong.
If we are mean to others, others would be mean,too.

Hope sanjacs's friend is not cursing her partner...
Negativity just ruin our happiness, I think

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

however i have absolutely NO respect for people who bear abuse under any pretext, whether they're trying to uphold their so called family honour, or even for children, as they'd be better off living in an abuse-free environment.

do yourself a favour and start recording his 'verbal abuse', invest in a cam.

What on earth????????????

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

Where does this duty come from? The how-to-abuse-your-wife-and-ensure-she-is-unable-to-access-any-support wife beating handbook?????????????

That sort of so-called duty gets women MURDERED.

Keep it in the family until she is dead? What a load of cr@p.

The poster is very sarcastic, clearly doesn't have a clue about domestic abuse.

[sh1981]

Of course, not for visa.
Ive thought its my duty to stop him not good behaviour as wife.
Yes, I still love him.

I'd like to say we shouldn't use visa for threatening.
And we have to be strong.
If we are mean to others, others would be mean,too.

Hope sanjacs's friend is not cursing her partner...
Negativity just ruin our happiness, I think

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

however i have absolutely NO respect for people who bear abuse under any pretext, whether they're trying to uphold their so called family honour, or even for children, as they'd be better off living in an abuse-free environment.

do yourself a favour and start recording his 'verbal abuse', invest in a cam.

What on earth????????????

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

Where does this duty come from? The how-to-abuse-your-wife-and-ensure-she-is-unable-to-access-any-support wife beating handbook?????????????

That sort of so-called duty gets women MURDERED.

Keep it in the family until she is dead? What a load of cr@p.

exactly my point! i said it to give an example of how ridiculous it can get after she said 'its my duty not to stop him as it wont be good behavior as a wife!'

[Kevin24]

Of course, not for visa.
Ive thought its my duty to stop him not good behaviour as wife.
Yes, I still love him.

I'd like to say we shouldn't use visa for threatening.
And we have to be strong.
If we are mean to others, others would be mean,too.

Hope sanjacs's friend is not cursing her partner...
Negativity just ruin our happiness, I think

in that case its also a 'duty of a good wife' not to share their personal matters with strangers! just saying, it's part of the rules so put up with it.

however i have absolutely NO respect for people who bear abuse under any pretext, whether they're trying to uphold their so called family honour, or even for children, as they'd be better off living in an abuse-free environment.

do yourself a favour and start recording his 'verbal abuse', invest in a cam.

This is serious business. Please don't try to be funny. Until you experience domestic violence(any sort-mental/physical),you would not know the horrible experience.Imagine yourself in this poor women's shoes.

[Casa]

sh1981 I'm not happy with the tone of your posts and many will find them offensive. If you don't have any constructive immigration advice, please don't post.

[shenibbs7]

Thanks for your all reply.
and sorry it seems I gave you controversy about abuse on here.
Sorry again to sanjac and his/her friend...

But its very nice to hear that most of you guys don't accept even mental abuse...I've thought people wont take it seriously, cuz its invisible to others...

I'm happy to know there are many people with good heart.

I don't want to make sanjac upset, so pls reply to me on MY post.

Thanks guys x

[vinny]

Its the circumstances at the time of the decision that matter and not at time of the application, so if by the time the decision was made the marriage broken down she wouldn't qualify for ilr on the basis of their relationship. However clearly the fact that she has two British children means that she should not be removed and should e granted some form of leave. Who are the children living with? She needs to obtain a copy of the police report and evidence of the non molestation order etc.

article 8 right to family life is invoked here.
however she shoudl apply with SET(DV)

I think set(DV) is intended for those who came to the UK as a spouse, cp or partner of a British citizen or settled person.

I believe that is correct.

[sanjacs]

Just to inform everyone that my friend won her appeal... the result came last Friday.

The evidence she gave, satisfied the judge that the relationship was subsisting as at the time of the application and that was all that was needed!

There were so many discouragements, even from lawyers, but she stuck to her guns, went in there and represented herself and even the home office presenting officer conceded.

All's well that ends well

[katwmn6]

Just to inform everyone that my friend won her appeal... the result came last Friday.

The evidence she gave, satisfied the judge that the relationship was subsisting as at the time of the application and that was all that was needed!

There were so many discouragements, even from lawyers, but she stuck to her guns, went in there and represented herself and even the home office presenting officer conceded.

All's well that ends well

I know this reply is quite late, but brilliant news, and thanks for posting the outcome. Hopefully it will give others in similar situations hope.

Best of luck to your friend; she sounds lucky to have someone like you in her life.