Moving to another country after meeting your love online

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 10:13 am

Hey,

I'm interested to know who has moved to another country to be with someone they met on the internet?

You meet on line (both live in vastly different global locations but speak the same language)
You meet in person
You find that the person you meet in real life is the same or BETTER than the person you met and fell in love with on line.
You decide that's it! That's the person for you.

Then there's a small matter of immigration to get through and the only reason you haven't married that person already is so that it DOESN'T affect your chance to be with them (how messed up is that? - you don't marry so you don't get banned from reentry).

Anyone done this? More than likely, I'd say.
How long did it take? Or how long has the process taken so far? How do you tackle the whole "met on the 'net" issue?

yankeegirl · Post by **yankeegirl** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 10:23 am

It's kind of hard to answer your question without knowing the nationalities involved, since each country has their own immigration rules. But, yes, it can be done.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:19 am

New Zealander (me) and US citizen - (him)

yankeegirl · Post by **yankeegirl** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:54 am

Well, it depends on in which of the two countries you'd like to settle.

http://wellington.usembassy.gov/index.html
Here's the US Embassy in New Zealand website. It's a starting place to get visa info if you are looking to settle in the US.

http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migrant/ ... mypartner/
And here's a link regarding New Zealand info if you are looking to move him there.

Sorry i don't really have specific info, but hopfully that will get you started. Best of luck!

As far as meeting on the net, I don't think it's really an issue especially if you marry. I initially met my husband on the net, and we married and when I applied to move to the UK, they never even asked, they just wanted to see the marriage certificate and proof of accommodation and all that. But again, it varies by country. Whatever you decide to do, just be honest. I can assure you that you aren't the first one

the only reason you haven't married that person already is so that it DOESN'T affect your chance to be with them

Not quite sure what you mean by that. The only thing I can think of where that could be an issue would be if you were to marry him in the US while there on a visa waiver and then apply to stay. You can apply for a fiancee visa to the US or you could alway marry in New Zealand

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:06 am

I've been to the various websites and spoken to a couple of lawyers. Both here for NZ immigration and there for US immigration. It just seems like it's really difficult for the 'average' person with the 'average' income to be able to get to the point where they can actually live and reside in the other person's life/world. I'm kind of hoping there are some people that are either going through this now or have been through it that can let me know that it's not as impossible as it seems.

Last night I applied for the dv lottery visa figuring, if i got that, it would enable me to work so I could stay with my partner. I still have a financial commitment in my own country and I'm not about to walk out on that - it would cost us both. As it is, we're average income earners (you know, working class). He has a conviction which may make it tougher for him to come to this country so it's looking like either K1 visa for me (and since we met online it may make that harder since there have been so many russian bride scenarios and people just marrying to stay in the US- I'm not russian) or try out the DV lottery as a cheaper and more direct route. I guess I'm suffering a little frustration. I didn't think it would be such a hard ask to be able to spend the rest of my life with the person I love.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:12 am

We want to marry. If I go to the US on a visa waiver and marry him, we could get in big trouble and I be told to leave. So that's why I say the only reason we DON'T marry is so we don't mess things up. I know, it's odd - in years gone by it may have been the entry key to any country but the rules have changed. I'm going back in January and we were hoping to marry then, but the way things are looking, that could be a bad idea.

And from my point of view, I don't want to leave the US again without him as my husband either by my side or on that piece of paper. Being this distance apart, heaven forbid anything happens to either of us in the mean time. We're half a world away.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:14 am

In NZ his priors may prove a big impediment to him coming here. All NZ want to see is that you are living in a stable relationship for a certain period of time and that you are legitimate. That's not a problem. I can support him on one income to make that happen. It's the issue of him coming here. *Sigh* Nothing is ever easy.

I hope things are working out for you and your hubby, Yankeegirl

yankeegirl · Post by **yankeegirl** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:31 am

Well, it's not impossible, but it sure as hell isn't easy unfortunately.

US immigration can be a major pain in the hole, but just keep your eye on the prize and try not to get discouraged. It may take a while, but find out everything you need for whatever visa you apply for and make your application as air-tight as possible.

Is he eligible to even go to NZ to visit? ( I don't want to pry into his convictions). If so, maybe you could marry in NZ and then make anapllication to move to the US? Get opinions from a couple of NZ lawyers and give them a detailed account of his criminal history. If they're minor, there might be some hope there?

In any case, best of luck to you, and if you ever want to chat or have a bitch session send me a PM

Marco 72 · Post by **Marco 72** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:34 am

Eternal_Howl wrote:We want to marry. If I go to the US on a visa waiver and marry him, we could get in big trouble and I be told to leave.

What makes you think that?

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:37 am

Marco 72 wrote:
Eternal_Howl wrote:We want to marry. If I go to the US on a visa waiver and marry him, we could get in big trouble and I be told to leave.
What makes you think that?

Because the visa waiver is a waiver extended to some countries so we don't have to apply for a tourist visa which is permission to tour or visit a country. If I go to the US on a visa waiver or even a tourist visa and marry, then that is grounds for applying for staying. They don't like that.

Yankeegirl, he hasn't done really horrendous things, but the fact is, he has spent time inside (we're talking over ten years ago so it's not recent and he was young and stupid at the time) and I spoke to a lawyer about it who wants to see his FBI certificate (which he's getting sorted as we speak) to advise whether it's worth forking out $2500 to pursue trying to get him here or whether we are wasting our time and money. It's looking more and more likely that if that falls through, well, life just becomes that much harder. (Our character requirements for entering NZ are supposedly fairly high - yet we're harbouring a suspected terrorist who entered illegally, go figure.) My partner is now apologising to me for his past encroaching on our future - my attitude is -I love him regardless of all that. It's just going to mean it's more expensive and arduous to get things sorted so we can be together in a more permanent and stable setting. Sorry to bore you all with my love life. That was not my intention.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:41 am

You know, it's funny - I'm busting my butt and now looking at the potential to have to go to the US and I just look on a local US jobseeker site and see the average wage offered for the job I do is about 1/2 of what I get now. There's no free healthcare, insurance is pricey etc - and I'm wanting to go there? There are a lot of pros for staying put in NZ - but I have found people in the US to be very friendly, very cool and it is a nice change of scenery - plus a whole new world to explore. I am talking Midwestern states though - as they're the only ones I've spent any time in. The coasts could be cold and suspicious like this country

Marco 72 · Post by **Marco 72** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 6:23 pm

Eternal_Howl wrote:Because the visa waiver is a waiver extended to some countries so we don't have to apply for a tourist visa which is permission to tour or visit a country. If I go to the US on a visa waiver or even a tourist visa and marry, then that is grounds for applying for staying. They don't like that.

It's ok to marry on a visa waiver. I did it two years ago and had no trouble at all. You might have trouble if you applied for adjustment of status within the US afterwards, but it's ok to get married there, go back to your country and then apply for an immigrant visa. Best not to mention your marriage plans at immigration control anyway.

Marco 72 · Post by **Marco 72** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 11:53 pm

Eternal_Howl wrote:You know, it's funny - I'm busting my butt and now looking at the potential to have to go to the US and I just look on a local US jobseeker site and see the average wage offered for the job I do is about 1/2 of what I get now.

At the moment the dollar is historically cheap, so simply converting your salary into dollars isn't going to give you a very useful result. You need to look at the purchasing power, i.e. what you can buy with it. If the US salary is half but life is half as expensive there, then it shouldn't be much of a problem. Here in California prices are almost half of what they are in London, for example. And California is one of the most expensive states in the US.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:16 am

Hi Marco,

Yeah the cost of living where I would be going is cheaper, but I guess it all balances out to around the same as various insurances are up to 3-4 times higher and the wages are lower. I would opt for insurance because of life's uncertainties. In my working life, I would be taking a step backwards but the whole idea is that I get to be with the man I love.

So you married on a visa waiver? Did you return to your home country and then your wife apply for the spouse visa? The reading I've done so far indicates that can take longer than the K1 visa. I've done some more thinking and think that since I'll be returning to the US for another trip to see him, by that stage it will make two trips that have been made exclusively for that reason and I am hoping immigration would see that we are dedicated, are genuine and despite the fact we met on the internet they will approve a fiance visa for next year.

Marco 72 · Post by **Marco 72** » Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:53 pm

Eternal_Howl wrote:Yeah the cost of living where I would be going is cheaper, but I guess it all balances out to around the same as various insurances are up to 3-4 times higher and the wages are lower. I would opt for insurance because of life's uncertainties. In my working life, I would be taking a step backwards but the whole idea is that I get to be with the man I love.

Many jobs in the US include subsidised health insurance, so you may not have to pay for it out of your salary. My wife used to work as a clerk for the county, and they paid all of her health insurance. Unless you are self employed or have a low pay job, health insurance is likely to be part of the deal.

Eternal_Howl wrote:So you married on a visa waiver? Did you return to your home country and then your wife apply for the spouse visa? The reading I've done so far indicates that can take longer than the K1 visa.

I didn't actually move to the US, my wife joined me in the UK afterwards. At the moment we are just visiting my wife's relatives in California. I didn't want to move over here because I work in the finance industry, and it would have been difficult for me to find a similar job in this part of the US. We would probably have had to move to Chicago or New York, neither of which seemed particularly appealing to us. Also, I didn't like the idea of having only 10 days vacation per year. Despite all this, we really love it here and may retire to the US one day. Whenever I'm here I always wonder: "What the hell am I doing in London?".

I understand that the K1 visa takes less time, but it won't allow you to work once you get to the US until after you get married and obtain work authorzation (EAD). As a result the K1 route may end up costing more, although it would allow you to be together sooner. You may also want to post in the following forum, where you'll find several people who moved to the US after marrying their loved ones. They may be able to give more information on the K1 / immigrant visa timescales.

US Marriage Based Visa Forum

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:10 am

Hi Marco,

thanks so much for your response and sharing your experience.

Yeah I understand I couldn't work until we got the AOS. I have noticed that some jobs offer paid health insurance so I guess that's something I forget when looking at the cost of living. I pay a third of what my partner pays in car insurance -granted that's third party but mine actually has more cover in relation to other things. For me it's not really a matter of the pros and cons because quite simply, I don't care where we live as long as we are together. I'll even sacrifice 2 weeks paid annual leave (which I will be no doubt) just to be with him.

I know upon my next trip, returning will be harder as it's been bad enough being back for three months since I last went over (first went to meet him). I've been to the US before years ago so it wasn't really a novelty for me going that far afield. I was over that and dreading the long flight, which is probably a good thing.

Thanks for the link, I'll go check it out

AussieBreeze · Post by **AussieBreeze** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:40 am

I have also met my love online, he also lives in the USA and during my recent two month vacation in the usa asked me to and move there and get married.. I have scrolled through the US Immigration Web Site as i would like to immigrate on my own so that we may live together for six months prior to getting married as neither of us want to rush getting married in case i get too home sick as his health issues would prevent him immigrating down under.. Can we just not apply to immigrate? Does it have to be on a 90 day Fiance Visa?
I do not have a College Degree but i do have over 36 years work experience in banking, hospitality and audit work.. Plus once i get a visa will sell my property here to move to the usa so wont be arriving empty handed

Eternal I wish you every happiness i know how it feels to finally meet your other half online.. now if only we can get ourselves together with them..

Cheers Aussie

shaun0181 · Post by **shaun0181** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:47 pm

I met my wife online over 7 years ago (at least I think it was 7..lol). We have been married for 6 years in Dec. We got married on the beach in florida and now live in Alabama.
I am UK, my wife is USA.
We took the fiance visa way to do things as we found this is the only real correct way to do things.
If I remember the fiance visa took over 7 months to process, so in the mean time spend some vacation time together if possible.
With a fiance visa you have 90 days to enter the USA and marry. You are also eligible to work straight away with a fiance visa.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:53 am

Hi AussieBreeze,

Re visa for you guys: unless you have a skill that is highly sought after, you are sponsored by a company, an entrepreneur etc, your safest bet would probably be fiance visa. I too, would prefer to be able to have the chance for him and I to marry at our 'leisure' - but the fact is, we want to regardless, so the timing now is basically all about how to do it where it doesn't impede our 'togetherness'. I have been married once before when I was quite young, so I'm more cautious of tying the knot and know that this time it will last - despite the irregularities in our relationship.

Immigration is a pig!!! As far as I can see, in many instances it isn't about keeping an eye on the numbers flowing back and forth and worrying about the 'undesirables', but more about making money.

I wish I could be more helpful, but the best advice I can offer is you both need patience, read up on their system and ask heaps of questions so that you know which steps to take. It wouldn't hurt to get some free legal advice from someone in the US either.

What options do you think you have in terms of immigration categories? What options do you think you can take? K1 is obviously one. Are you eligible for a work visa?

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:54 am

Shaun,

Congrats on your marriage and your transition to the US lifestyle. Or should I say congrats on successfully navigating US immigration?

starfleet_hq · Post by **starfleet_hq** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:06 am

Eternal_Howl wrote: Last night I applied for the dv lottery visa figuring, if i got that, it would enable me to work so I could stay with my partner. .

Hi How did you apply for the DV lottery I thought it doesn't start till October 2207.

You can apply directly and it dosn'r cost anything.

Eternal_Howl · Post by **Eternal_Howl** » Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:30 am

I'm enrolled for it through one of the internet websites. Not sure when they start the actual lottery and drawing names. I know you can do it free, but I thought it would be less hassle to have a company do itl

usagc.org I think is the site I went through. I know there are scam sites out there but it seems legit.

Immigrationboards.com: Immigration, work visa and work permit discussion board

Moving to another country after meeting your love online

Moving to another country after meeting your love online