At the end of my tether - illegal boyfriend

[AnnonymousAnon]

I have been with my partner, who is illegal for three years. He was not completely honest with me at first, as he still had a job that he got when he had a student visa so he didn't feel that it was important to tell me. Anyway, he got found out as they rang Home Office and enquired and that's when they said he didn't have the documents. It was all rushed and we both moved out into another accommodation that his friend gave to us. I was not happy but I love him so I did it.

Before I knew about his status, I accidentally fell pregnant and had an abortion due to career aspirations and I wanted to save for a job. He literally begged me not to do it but at the end of the day, I just wasn't ready. I lost another baby a year later and he was very upset about that - now I know why! Because he knows this is the only route we can go through.

Life is the same boring crap. I work, and he sits at home all Day, watching television and complaining about how depressed he is, and I try and forget about it because it really upsets me as I know he blames it on the fact I had a termination.

I am sick of it. I love him so much but sometimes, just sometimes, I want him to go back to India and just be with his family again and let me live my life. He doesn't realise this affects me as well and as he cannot work he seems like he is going to give up.

I just don't know anymore. Having children is hard now as I have gynaecological problems (possibly from abortion or just a fluke) Is there anyone in my position? Supporting an illegal immigrant? It's only a matter of time now

He is an overstayer, I cannot support his application on a financial basis as I do not earn over 18K per year and we dong have any savings.

[Wanderer]

All I can say is best resolve it as best you can within the rules. There are shortcuts in terms of bypassing the normal rules, but they are in fact long cuts since it takes longer etc, etc....

But reading your words, you need to shake him up and get him to sort himself out, both personally and with you.

One thing is for sure - in today's climate he won't be under the radar for long...

[AnnonymousAnon]

All I can say is best resolve it as best you can within the rules. There are shortcuts in terms of bypassing the normal rules, but they are in fact long cuts since it takes longer etc, etc....

But reading your words, you need to shake him up and get him to sort himself out, both personally and with you.

One thing is for sure - in today's climate he won't be under the radar for long...

Hey thank you for your response. What do you mean short cuts? He has been here for 8 years. Not ten! My mistake! I understand and due to the landlord scheme where they have to check immigration status that is just going to he the tip of an iceberg. I've tried so many times to tell him but he just says that I'm lucky I'm not in his shoes. I technically am as I have to live with this and I hate it

[secret.simon]

He has been here for 8 years. Not ten!

Just to clarify, as your boyfriend has been illegal for a while, it will take 20 years for him to get ILR, not 10 years, if that is what he is waiting for. It is either 10 years of legal residence or 20 years of a mixture of legal and illegal residence.

Wanderer is right. The government is making it much harder for illegal immigrants in the UK. He is lucky that the doctors have resisted checking people's immigration status when going to the GP/hospital. Otherwise he would not be able to afford having an accident or an illness. It will gradually become harder for him to bank and to get legal employment, not to mention that his illegal status will render him open to blackmail.

My advice is going to sound harsh, but in the circumstances that you have outlined, I believe that it is necessary. I am aware that it is going to sound paternalistic/big brotherly, but I hope you take it in a positive sense.

Your boyfriend is not positively contributing to your life. He is, from the tenor of your post, an emotional drain in addition to being a financial one. If, as you suspect, he wanted a baby to anchor himself here, that is such a selfish motive to have a child that I would say that you should be thankful that he is your boyfriend and not a spouse. There is, from my reading of your post, some amount of emotional abuse in this relationship. I would strongly suggest that you re-evaluate the value of investing, both emotionally and financially, in this relationship. It may perhaps be better for you to go your way before things get worse.

Could you also clarify your status? Are you a British or EEA citizen or are you on leave to remain? And how long have you co-habited with your boyfriend?

[AnnonymousAnon]

Could you also clarify your status? Are you a British or EEA citizen or are you on leave to remain? And how long have you co-habited with your boyfriend?

Thank you for your reply. I know I am getting so fed up of it now and every time I come home I have to put up with him.feeling sorry for himself then I feel guilty for going out because he is on his own etc I am a UK British Citizen

[secret.simon]

How long have you cohabited with your boyfriend? And do you have proof of it (joint bank account, joint tenancies, bills addressed to the two of you together at the same address, etc)?

And how willing are you to leave the country for him (I have made my thoughts about the relationship clear in a previous post, so I will desist from repetition)? You may wish to look at the Surinder Singh route.

That will require a huge investment of time from you. You would need to move with him to another EEA country for more than three months (recommended for more than six months) and exercise treaty rights by either working or seeking work or being self-sufficient with private health insurance. You could then return back to the UK with him. He will then get Permanent Residency under EU laws in 5 years and UK citizenship after 10 years.

[AnnonymousAnon]

How long have you cohabited with your boyfriend? And do you have proof of it (joint bank account, joint tenancies, bills addressed to the two of you together at the same address, etc)?
Yes we have a joint account together and we pay council tax in both of our names.

And how willing are you to leave the country for him (I have made my thoughts about the relationship clear in a previous post, so I will desist from repetition)? You may wish to look at the Surinder Singh route.
I don't think that is going to be possible due to my commitments here so I guess that is out of the window (I did research Surinder Singh after you've mentioned it)

That will require a huge investment of time from you. You would need to move with him to another EEA country for more than three months (recommended for more than six months) and exercise treaty rights by either working or seeking work or being self-sufficient with private health insurance. You could then return back to the UK with him. He will then get Permanent Residency under EU laws in 5 years and UK citizenship after 10 years.

How can he move to a EEA country without a passport or a visa? Sorry if I sound dumb I am trying to look at every angle so I can determine what on Earth to do

[AnnonymousAnon]

Sorry I have quoted my own reply! I have answered your questions up above in the yellow quotation box.

[secret.simon]

How long have you cohabited? Is it more than two years?

Why does he not have a passport? Surely he has an Indian passport. If not, he should get one from the Indian authorities. If he can not do that much on his own and he is so completely dependent on you, I would say you should review your options.

If you can prove that you and he have a "durable relationship" and he is accompanying you, he has the absolute right (can not be refused except if he is a threat to national security or public health) to get a visa in any other EEA country other than the UK. So, for instance, provided he is accompanying you and provided you can prove a durable relationship, Ireland would be obliged under EU law to give him a visa. Then once he has stayed with you for atleast three years, in theory, the UK must allow him to accompany you back. The UK does have a higher standard than the EU and requires you to prove that you have moved the "center of your life" to another EU country.

[AnnonymousAnon]

How long have you cohabited? Is it more than two years?
Yes we cohabited for 3 years and four months
.

[AnnonymousAnon]

Why does he not have a passport? Surely he has an Indian passport. If not, he should get one from the Indian authorities. If he can not do that much on his own and he is so completely dependent on you, I would say you should review your options.
His ex partner has stolen his passport so that she can threaten to tell Home Office of his status that's also why we had to move ASAP and keep our address a secret

[CR001]

Is all this stress and hassle really worth it for you at the end of the day? How do you know he won't up and leave eventually once he gets indefinite leave to remain or British citizenship (probably likely given his response to your baby issue). I might sound cynical, but the reality of these situations is very real and very common, myself being targeted by foreign 'student visa' holders trying to start a relationship to remain in the UK.

There is an interesting and very helpful website for immigration marriage fraud and the fight to get government to do more to help victims etc. I know you are not married, and unlikely to happen in the UK given his illegal status, but you should look at the whole situation objectively and realistically.

There is no avenue available to him to apply for within the UK (unless you have a baby)

[noajthan]

Food for thought ...

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-signs-your ... ationship/

http://www.beliefnet.com/section/quiz/i ... rveyID=441

Best of luck.

[AnnonymousAnon]

Is all this stress and hassle really worth it for you at the end of the day? How do you know he won't up and leave eventually once he gets indefinite leave to remain or British citizenship (probably likely given his response to your baby issue). I might sound cynical, but the reality of these situations is very real and very common, myself being targeted by foreign 'student visa' holders trying to start a relationship to remain in the UK.

There is an interesting and very helpful website for immigration marriage fraud and the fight to get government to do more to help victims etc. I know you are not married, and unlikely to happen in the UK given his illegal status, but you should look at the whole situation objectively and realistically.

There is no avenue available to him to apply for within the UK (unless you have a baby)

He definitely isn't going to leave afterwards as we both have unconditional love for each other. I trust him and I know he is honest with me about everything. I am just seeking advice on what routes to go down but I understand as for applying in the UK we must have a baby together. We definitely won't consider marrying because I know they will say it is fraud and home office will be informed. If he applies for a passport from the Indian authorities, will home office in UK find out about it?

[CR001]

I understand as for applying in the UK we must have a baby together.

This still does not guarantee anything and is not an easy or quick visa route.

If he applies for a passport from the Indian authorities, will home office in UK find out about it?

Unlikely, it has nothing to do with HO. However, they might want to know what right to remain in the UK he has etc.

[Casa]

To be realistic, if he is able to obtain a passport from the Indian authorities, you best chance of resolving the situation would be for him to return to India and apply either for fiance visa to return and marry in the UK or marry in India and apply for a Spouse settlement visa from there. That's assuming that you are earning a minimum of £18,600 per annum and he hasn't 'frustrated the Immigration rules' by working with false papers or has used any other form of deception during his time here.

[Wanderer]

Is all this stress and hassle really worth it for you at the end of the day? How do you know he won't up and leave eventually once he gets indefinite leave to remain or British citizenship (probably likely given his response to your baby issue). I might sound cynical, but the reality of these situations is very real and very common, myself being targeted by foreign 'student visa' holders trying to start a relationship to remain in the UK.

There is an interesting and very helpful website for immigration marriage fraud and the fight to get government to do more to help victims etc. I know you are not married, and unlikely to happen in the UK given his illegal status, but you should look at the whole situation objectively and realistically.

There is no avenue available to him to apply for within the UK (unless you have a baby)

He definitely isn't going to leave afterwards as we both have unconditional love for each other.

Yeah right!

After three years?

I know this is not a lurve forum but my advice is to ditch this loser, seriously, he's a waste of space.

He's bleeding you dry and you are letting him....

[ouflak1]

He definitely isn't going to leave afterwards as we both have unconditional love for each other. I trust him and I know he is honest with me about everything.

Just about everything you've described has raised every red flag we have on this type of situation. I know that from your perspective this seems like the whole world to you now. But for us here, this is not exactly new. From our experience, it sounds like the only reason he is having anything to do with you is because you are:

• *1. Housing, hiding, and feeding him unconditionally without any need for him to even lift a finger.
  
  *2. You are potential route for him to remain in the UK.

I am just seeking advice on what routes to go down but I understand as for applying in the UK we must have a baby together.

There is no anchor baby exception to the immigration rules. If this is what he believes, he has either been woefully misinformed or is thinking wishfully. He can and will be deported, even if starts making babies. There are some rules for older children (7+ years), but even those are quite specific and there is no guarantee.

We definitely won't consider marrying because I know they will say it is fraud

Not true. If it is a genuine marriage, they will see that and allow it. However, in this case, they will correctly recognize that he is only doing this as means to further remain in the country illegally.

[Charlotteibnlfassi]

Cane across this and am In a very similiar situation, been with my partner for over 5years he has been here illegally since 2010. (Overstayed his visa)
How did you situation turn out in the end?

[Casa]

Cane across this and am In a very similiar situation, been with my partner for over 5years he has been here illegally since 2010. (Overstayed his visa)
How did you situation turn out in the end?

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