Relationship breakdown !! What to do now?

[rachelA]

Cbackground we have 2 children together. Applied for second DL 2 yers ago therefore my ex is due to apply for IL. He cheated we are splitting up. Can he change his application purely for access to his british children? Can he still apply for IL based on his children and not the relationship ?

[Wanderer]

I think he can if he has access/interest in the children...

Wait for others tho....

[Casa]

Yes if he continues to have access to your children he can apply under the parent route - FLR(FP). This would be a longer route to ILR.

[rachelA]

So instead of getting his IL this year after 6 years discretionary leave under the old rules, he would have to start all over again ?

[CR001]

Yes, FLR(FP) is a 10 year route to ILR (4 x 2.5 year visas) or once he reaches 10 years long residence with a combination of leave to remain, he can apply for ILR based on long residence using form SET(LR), assuming the rules don't change.

[Casa]

Char, isn't it a 5 year route as a parent if all residence has been legal...10 years if not?

http://www.immigrationboards.com/immigr ... 81450.html

[CR001]

Char, isn't it a 5 year route as a parent if all residence has been legal...10 years if not?

http://www.immigrationboards.com/immigr ... 81450.html

@Casa, sorry yes it is. But the OPs partner will likely still reach 10 years long residence before that.

[rachelA]

So u mean the 6 years , combined with 4 years from the parental application then he can get IL. Don't know why I'm worrying about him and his situation. If he wanted to do the right thing he wouldn't have cheated on me in the first place. Now he's pressurising me to go through and help him apply for Il.

[Casa]

Yes he can combine all legal residence to qualify for ILR on a 10 year route if he's granted FLR(FP).

[rachelA]

Ok thank you he will not want to do that but these are the consequences of having affairs ....

[CR001]

Unfortunately it is and I am sorry you have to go through this. The option of FLR(FP) is the only one he could probably go with if you don't support his ILR application with 6 years DLR. His other alternative is to leave the UK.

[rachelA]

Ok thank you he will not want to do that but these are the consequences of having affairs ....

[rachelA]

Do u think it's mean of me to make him do this? Am I harming the kids to spite him ?

[CR001]

It is a difficult situation he has put you in. You need to decide logically what is best for you and your children. Animosity and ugliness will not be good but you should also not deceive HO in any way, they have a knack for finding these things out.

[Casa]

Following on from what CR001 has said, if you decide not to continue to live together don't support an application for ILR stating that you are.

[Obie]

I am surprised that you want to even set eyes on this chap, never mind the thought of assisting with ILR. Perhaps I came from a different planet.

[rachelA]

Obie you are totally right. He is a cheif manipulator. Even after seial cheating and actually fathering a child which is a few months old (that is why we are splitting up) he still has a hold on me through our own children.

[Wanderer]

Does he actually have any interest in the children, i.e. access etc? If not he has no grounds to remain.

[Casa]

Does he actually have any interest in the children, i.e. access etc? If not he has no grounds to remain.

He might do Wanderer, under the right of access to the new child born outside of the marriage...depending on the circumstances.

[rachelA]

Yes he does take an intrest in them he was the one to take them to school pick up etc but now is will be picking them up myself he had a good bond with them can't deny that. But he wants things on his terms all the time. I don't think you should have a right to dictate when you are the cause of the family breakdown. No court involvement at present

[rachelA]

He acknowledged the child when he's trying to get me jealous, but when we reconciled briefly he denied the child and now she will b taking him to CSA he has refused to do dna test

[Wanderer]

He acknowledged the child when he's trying to get me jealous, but when we reconciled briefly he denied the child and now she will b taking him to CSA he has refused to do dna test

Might well be in your interest if he has no access or has no interest, then he would have no grounds to remain.

Shakespeare, Henry IV;

Oft have I heard that grief softens the mind,
And makes it fearful and degenerate;
Think therefore on revenge and cease to weep.

[rachelA]

I'm talking about the other woman's child. He has not denied our own children together and has been in their lives since their birth.

[noajthan]

And in the words of the immortal John Rambo ...

Don't push it! Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe. Let it go. Let it go!

[rachelA]

If I inform the ukba now. What will happen to him? Would they deport him straight away or give him time to apply as a father