Wife false allegation for IRL?

[Fair]

I intend to write this to obtain information and create awareness of the danger of marrying the wrong person from outside UK.

I am of Pakistani background, grow up in France, and now been 11 years in the UK, I work as project engineer in bms. I indented to get married, arranged marriage only, I am a practicing Muslim and wanted someone compatible, I don’t believe in changing anyone its just wrong. So I choose this women from Pakistan, the only thing that mattered to me was her being religious, there are from really poor background which doesn’t matter to me, before marriage and after marriage she knew exactly who I am and what I was looking for (so she just portrait herself to be that women). I have evidence of that on Whatsapp.
We were married for 1years and about 2months, we lived together in UK about 9 months, no tension or friction between us or other family, she was perfect, till this January, she called the police and reported a list of allegations Rape, Domestic Violence, Manipulating and more allegations which are completely false and imaginary.
She disappeared with the Police, when my family informed me I got worried, I was at work and I called the Police to check if she ok and what happened, then I got arrested, I was in cell for 21 hours and then was released after 2 interviews, I have been released under investigation No bail or charges on me. I haven’t done anything wrong all the accusation are completely imaginations, now it has been 4 weeks didn’t hear from her or the Police, they kept my mobiles phones which I don’t mind because on it there is our call log and messages ect… all proving a healthy marriage, for example for work I have been absent from home for few months Monday to Friday, she would call me before the prayer time in the morning about 06:00 then during the day and also before sleeping about 22:00, Video calls, Voice Calls and Messages. Obviously as I haven’t done anything of which she accused me she doesn’t have any evidence, it can’t because that never happened, by the way we lived with my Parents and sibling it’s a big house, so privacy can be very limited but that’s the life choice we made and this from our culture we are accustomed to it.
I don’t know why she did it who helped her as her English was good, the only one thing I can see is she wants IRL. When her EEA family permit date passed I didn’t apply for the 5 years one simply due to the assurance that we don’t have to as it says on the Gov website, also for that I had to apply for my own permeant resident due to Brexit uncertainty, in December the uncertainty was cleared for me and was in the process of doing the applications, I never could have imagined my life would change like this.I am back to work try to get in normal routine, but life is very sad I am not much worried about the allegation due to the fact that she made because its baseless/False, but rather the pain I have is that I loved her unconditionally, and she did this to me, been 4 weeks still I’m worry for her if she’s ok, friends say to me move on only if it was so easy.
We were married in Pakistan, how do I go about initiating the Divorce is it going to be in Pakistan or her via court, note we haven’t registered the marriage hear?
Will she get any Visa due to her false allegation which she haven’t got any evidence for?
What are the step I should take to have her completely out of my Life I don’t anything to do with her?
My questions are to help understand why she did this to me, I don’t really care if she manages to settle hear start a new life now she’s gone, no matter how much I love her, I can’t trust her again

[CMOSUK]

I intend to write this to obtain information and create awareness of the danger of marrying the wrong person from outside UK.

I am of Pakistani background, grow up in France, and now been 11 years in the UK, I work as project engineer in bms. I indented to get married, arranged marriage only, I am a practicing Muslim and wanted someone compatible, I don’t believe in changing anyone its just wrong. So I choose this women from Pakistan, the only thing that mattered to me was her being religious, there are from really poor background which doesn’t matter to me, before marriage and after marriage she knew exactly who I am and what I was looking for (so she just portrait herself to be that women). I have evidence of that on Whatsapp.
We were married for 1years and about 2months, we lived together in UK about 9 months, no tension or friction between us or other family, she was perfect, till this January, she called the police and reported a list of allegations Rape, Domestic Violence, Manipulating and more allegations which are completely false and imaginary.
She disappeared with the Police, when my family informed me I got worried, I was at work and I called the Police to check if she ok and what happened, then I got arrested, I was in cell for 21 hours and then was released after 2 interviews, I have been released under investigation No bail or charges on me. I haven’t done anything wrong all the accusation are completely imaginations, now it has been 4 weeks didn’t hear from her or the Police, they kept my mobiles phones which I don’t mind because on it there is our call log and messages ect… all proving a healthy marriage, for example for work I have been absent from home for few months Monday to Friday, she would call me before the prayer time in the morning about 06:00 then during the day and also before sleeping about 22:00, Video calls, Voice Calls and Messages. Obviously as I haven’t done anything of which she accused me she doesn’t have any evidence, it can’t because that never happened, by the way we lived with my Parents and sibling it’s a big house, so privacy can be very limited but that’s the life choice we made and this from our culture we are accustomed to it.
I don’t know why she did it who helped her as her English was good, the only one thing I can see is she wants IRL. When her EEA family permit date passed I didn’t apply for the 5 years one simply due to the assurance that we don’t have to as it says on the Gov website, also for that I had to apply for my own permeant resident due to Brexit uncertainty, in December the uncertainty was cleared for me and was in the process of doing the applications, I never could have imagined my life would change like this.I am back to work try to get in normal routine, but life is very sad I am not much worried about the allegation due to the fact that she made because its baseless/False, but rather the pain I have is that I loved her unconditionally, and she did this to me, been 4 weeks still I’m worry for her if she’s ok, friends say to me move on only if it was so easy.
We were married in Pakistan, how do I go about initiating the Divorce is it going to be in Pakistan or her via court, note we haven’t registered the marriage hear?
Will she get any Visa due to her false allegation which she haven’t got any evidence for?
What are the step I should take to have her completely out of my Life I don’t anything to do with her?
My questions are to help understand why she did this to me, I don’t really care if she manages to settle hear start a new life now she’s gone, no matter how much I love her, I can’t trust her again

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear this, if you got married in Pakistan then you will need to initiate proceedings of a divorce in Pakistan and obtain aa court document/decree/order to establish a divorce has been granted legally and lawfully.

In the mean time you must inform the home office that your marriage has broke down and that you intend to divorce as well as inform them once it has been finalised through the courts in Pakistan you will forward it to them.

Make sure the documents you receive are translated to English and notarised as you will then need to submit those to the home office.

As for the person in question that has made the accusations against you, I will state this that, the Police take this matter very very seriously, as she is the complainant of this accusation, it will be on her to prove what she has stated to the police.

The police will make their own enquiries and if need be can make medical assessments to determine if she was indeed raped and as well as other assessments if need be. I will be honest with you, this will take time and energy.

I must stress though, if the police do find contradictory evidence, they will pursue charges against the complainant and will take her to court.

DV and rape are not taken lightly by the police and it will be thoroughly investigated. I must add it is all down to what evidence is there to back up the complaints.

I'm not an angel myself, and I must confess, I have been through the court system and done my time and I will tell you one thing. There is nothing more miserable and daunting than going through the courts regardless of who is at fault and watching yourself become a former shadow just going through it.

[CR001]

You can divorce in the UK if your marriage is legitimate and recognised, ie not Islamic marriage.

[Fair]

Yes it was an Islamic marriage which took place in Azad Kashmir in Mirpur, so the Nikka is in Urdu.
We had translation and original but she took it with her.

[Fair]

How can I obtain the marriage certificate while all my family lives here in UK, is there a point of contact, can I contact them directly?

[Obie]

You have to get the certified marriage certificate and you can divorce within the UK.

You maybe genuine, but believe me there are many cases which are like that.

Some Asian men bring their wife from overseas and treat them very badly. I witnessed a man plead guilty to the irreparable damage done to him wife, following her arrival 18 months ago.

[Fair]

Thanks to those who replied.

I am still waiting no update from the Police.

I never suspected my wife and now find it difficult but I am trying to understand what happen because I hope we can get back together I love her so much also when I focused objectively on the reason of my stress. Is just her lies false frabrocations.

I suspected few things, she always use to delete messages on WhatsApp with her Parents, brother and sisters, she call them every day ( I would never restrict my wife to contact her family)
But the Whatsapp usage of about 3 hours a day minimum she use to lock herself in her rpm or go somewhere isolated in the house and speak quietly, I have no idea what they would talk about but now I’m getting suspicious.
Can the Police hopefully find those message and calls all on Whatsapp?

Also she use to ask for money to be sent back home with deferent excuses I.e. we going to build a house, brother education etc.... but I have no messages it was all us discussing the matter and me of course I had no intention to become a sponsor for the whole family?

Last question are going to be treated differently I’m asking as I am French and she had eea family permit?

Regards,

[seasky]

Some Asian men bring their wife from overseas and treat them very badly. I witnessed a man plead guilty to the irreparable damage done to him wife, following her arrival 18 months ago.

I am sure men from all over the world treat their wives very badly. Not just from Asia. (Oh and vice versa too)

[seasky]

the only thing that mattered to me was her being religious,

I fully respect that if u are very religious u want a similar minded wife. But to choose a spouse ONLY on that criteria is a major mistake. Love and compatibility on many other facets makes sense

[Obie]

I am sure men from all over the world treat their wives very badly. Not just from Asia. (Oh and vice versa too)

I am not sure that was in dispute. I perfectly accept that unreservedly, and hence my use of the term some.

I am basing my view on data in some local authorities, which indicates practices of a sizeable minority of asian men.

For the avoidance of doubt I have no issues with asian men, over 60 percent of my friends are from asian origin, and I do not shy away from mentioning these figures to them. I alway treasure my friends and also open and candid with them always.

[Fair]

You miss understood me completely because obviously you can only judge in accordance to how much you know.

I was born in Pakistan too, I speak Urdu fluently, we of similar age and height, she showed a very devout love towards religion, our family culture are exactly the same she is from the same town I came from back Home, but she isn’t a family member but that shouldn’t be an issue isn’t it, they are poor but that didn’t matter to be as she is educated never the less.

[CR001]

If she is in the UK on the EEA route, her rights to reside in the UK remain in tact for as long as you are married.

If you divorce, her rights cease but she could apply for Retain Rights of Residence IF she meets the requirements and has all the relevant documents (from you).

[Obie]

You miss understood me completely because obviously you can only judge in accordance to how much you know.

I was born in Pakistan too, I speak Urdu fluently, we of similar age and height, she showed a very devout love towards religion, our family culture are exactly the same she is from the same town I came from back Home, but she isn’t a family member but that shouldn’t be an issue isn’t it, they are poor but that didn’t matter to be as she is educated never the less.

I am not judging you at all OP and it is not in my nature to do so.

You seem like a decent person to me, and I am inclined to believe you have been wrongly accused.

The point I am making is that with the statistics, police tend to take these allegations very seriously when they are made from members of the asian community.

Please do not read my post as throwing any aspersions on you or making any judgement. You do seem very sincere .

[Fair]

Thanks for your information, my intention to divorce is because she left, so obviously she didn’t had any commitment in my opinion. It would never benefit me to be an obstacle in her life, I’m just finishing what she started.

Strange is that her parents or anyone in her family didn’t contact us, I can’t contact them any way they blocked us on WhatsApp exactly the day and time she walked out.

In those 9 months we lived together I have only good memories due to which I suffer a lot, may be that’s the price to pay to love someone above anyone else, hopefully with time the pain will ease, sleeping tablet don’t really help. I may be the most naive men on earth thinking that one day we may get back together, knowing what she did to me, it must be one way love. I sometime worry thinking in state she may be.....

[seasky]

I am sure men from all over the world treat their wives very badly. Not just from Asia. (Oh and vice versa too)

I am not sure that was in dispute. I perfectly accept that unreservedly, and hence my use of the term some.

I am basing my view on data in some local authorities, which indicates practices of a sizeable minority of asian men.

For the avoidance of doubt I have no issues with asian men, over 60 percent of my friends are from asian origin, and I do not shy away from mentioning these figures to them. I alway treasure my friends and also open and candid with them always.

I did not suspect you, a well regarded mod on having issues with Asians though your wording did not come off well. I myself am born and raised in Asia.

I wonder what you mean by Asian? In USA the term is misused to mean "oriental" (also a misused term) i.e Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese etc. Here u are useing it in reference to an OP of Pakistan (so sub continent?)

Of course many more Asians....

[zzzindagi]

The girl who has just been here for 1 year can't take that step without help of any other person. The allegations are very serious and planned to get rid of you. You seems a gentle man who can even forgive her if she takes back her allegations. I suspect there is someone inside the UK misguiding her.
One friend of mine had two kids living happily with his wife. All of a sudden his wife asked for divorce. He decided to move back home with family but on the day when they had to travel his wife called the Police. She later got married with another person and they all along with children moved to USA.
You need to ask from her other relatives or neighbours to reveal if there is anything about her you are unaware of.
You think about the time you spent with her did she genuinely loved you or did she demand anything like living in a separate accommodation etc. There is also a chance that someone else is disturbing her in your house.

[Fair]

I think it was genuine love, I use to travel for work once I travel and stayed in hotel Monday to Friday for two months, I would contact her but her as well, just to mention she would call me before sunset minimum 30 min call, during the day messages and at night about an hour of calling or video call, at home my sister and her alongside my mum got on well to be honest, I sometime said statements like this your daughter not daughter in law so much they had in common....strange tho when she left the house after packing her bags while the police was waiting for her and they witness all that I was at work, the met everyone and cried before leaving can’t understand that was she pressurised by someone I don’t know.

She has one cousin she got married two years ago before that she was in Pakistan , it’s her first cousins she is married to a man twice her age who is all ready married and she is happy with that, how ever she did use to comment on our marriage I didn’t like her for that but nothing major.

So many other thing happened that only clicked after she left, it’s like a puzzle that I can’t solve

[zzzindagi]

The question is, If she did not want to live with you she could have easily left you by going back home and asking divorce from there. Did she like living in UK. She must have received her own sheltered accommodation by making that allegations and may get her own independent visa status as well. Some people are genuine but some people make these kind of accusations to get the benefits.
The million dollar question is whether she still wants to stay in UK.

[Fair]

She didn’t yet, she took the original marriage certificate, that’s what I am thinking why her parents or her relative didn’t even contact us, even to ask me to divorce, in my case they will be the court divorce and the Islamic one.

I came to those conclusions that if she wanted to come back she would drop the charges it’s been one month and about two week, also she has no ground to stand on if she refuses to divorce, I mean after making such false allegations how can you refuse to not separate from someone whom you sought protection from.

Once divorced thing will clear in my mind and hopefully my heart then stop longing for her...

[Fair]

You right she doesn’t want to go back, life back home can be difficult, I think she will try to get her whole family over here, we are from Mirpu and other name for it is mini England literally I didn’t know that before find out recently, people in mirpur dream to come here, in some cases they risk there lives and pay a lot of money without guarantee to come here.

She did mention she has two cousin in the country that married each in uk thinking that the other one will be legal, the irony is they both are illegal but they have an immigration case going on for 10 years and had three children since then...I’m thinking she even speak English fluently even for the statement given to the police she required a translator...even if she gets all those benefit wasn’t she better off before???

[zzzindagi]

You right she doesn’t want to go back, life back home can be difficult, I think she will try to get her whole family over here, we are from Mirpu and other name for it is mini England literally I didn’t know that before find out recently, people in mirpur dream to come here, in some cases they risk there lives and pay a lot of money without guarantee to come here.

She did mention she has two cousin in the country that married each in uk thinking that the other one will be legal, the irony is they both are illegal but they have an immigration case going on for 10 years and had three children since then...I’m thinking she even speak English fluently even for the statement given to the police she required a translator...even if she gets all those benefit wasn’t she better off before???

Yes she was definitely in better condition before but she might be missing something more important then everything she had before.

[Obie]

It is a bit of beauty in the eyes of the beholder situation here. What one may perceive as a palace, it is perfectly possible that another person may reasonably perceive it as a dungeon. Therefore it is possible that even though OP was doing what he thinks was his very best to make her happy, it is likely that she never was happy.

However, there was no reason to treat OP in the way he has articulated on this thread, if indeed he was not abusive to her. That is just morally reprehensible.

[Fair]

I was looking for information to find out if really what she did is a fast track to being permanent here and upon my findings I have come to a conclusion.

May be there are info above that will not benefit anyone, but as long as people are aware that being from the UK and going for marriage back home can conceal a danger, weather you are a men or women both are at risk of being a victim of a calculated plan.

Marriages do break down I am aware but not like this, of someone is not happy they show it or speak to someone, false allegation can never be proven true.

[leicesterer]

Hi
I had the same situation. You need to send her Divorce (three Talaqs) on 100 rupees Ashtaam paper through recorded delivery (registry). Then you need to contact your union council as they will contact your wife and her parents for three time to see if there is any chance to resolve the issue according to Islamic law. Once all three calls exhausted they will issue a union council letter along with NADRA divorce letter. If you want to go for another marriage you will wait for 90 days after the date of this NADRA letter. To cancel her visa in UK, you need to show all these documents (Notary certified) to Home Office UK.
Regards

[leicesterer]

Hi
Please note, you must be in Pakistan during this process, and it will take roughly one month from start to end. UK Home Office will only accept documents from Pakistan to cancel her visa.
Regards