Used for a Visa!!!!

[Plebnotics]

Hi,

In 2004 I met a girl from South Africa through a friend. We quickly became very close and after a short while she started to worry that she was going to have to return to SA after working here using a student visa.

We spoke about various options and she convinced me that we should marry as it would be the only way to stay together. Within a month I flew out to SA and got married.

As soon as we married the troubles started. I was always aware that she suffered from depression brought on after the death of her father and always tried my best to council her and be there as support for her. All i ever wanted for her was for her to be happy and as much as i tried to motivate her to enjoy life it slowly pushed us both apart. I tried to leave her on 3 occasions over 3 years and each time she would start cutting her wrists, taking pills and other attention seeking behaviour that always drew me back into the situation. Back in September 2007, 3 years after we were married she finished the process of gaining her residential status and with immediate effect she demanded divorce.

If this was not enough to cope with we also own a flat together and my farther has his life saving invested in the property. We have been trying to sell the flat for several months now without success while we were both living there. She has now moved her new boyfriend into the spare room making for a very uncomfortable environment for me to be in especially as I am paying the lion’s share of the mortgage and bills. She has now started saying they will not leave the property until I have paid her £15k to get her name off the deeds....

I desperately need some sound advice… Can anybody help?

Best Regards

[sakura]

Did you change the details to put her on the deed? Who owns the flat?

I suggest you urgently seek legal assistance as soon as possible. If you have paid most of the mortgage, I doubt you would have to pay her much.

As for the friend - why not tell him to move out immediately? It is your home afterall. He has no legal entitlement to be there and you can ask him to leave. Again, seek legal advice for this.

Also - what status does she have? ILR or British citizenship?

[Plebnotics]

Hi,

Thanks for the response. The flat is in both of our names. We brought it 2 years ago and my dad put £17k (10%) into it on the condition he would get 10% out when we sell it but he also had the option that he could have his money back after 2 years if requested. He needed it back 4 months ago and she refused to pay him back so I had to get a personal loan to pay him £10k. She assumes that if it sells for £220k her share of the equity would amount to £15k after fees/legal fees and dad fully paid off. It’s very hard to explain but she is a very pushy person when she wants something but when I try and talk to her she just gets angry or walks away or hangs up the phone. She is impossible!!!! Grrrrrr!

Clearly I do need to seek legal advice but I am very worried about costs of legal representation.

I think she now has full legal British citizenship. She changed her name back to her maiden name within a month of achieving her status...

BR

Marcus

[martha]

Hi Plebnotics,
You didnt mention how the divorce is going. Has it now been finalised?
I would also say that you must ask her new boyfriend to leave your home. It is totally unacceptable that you have to pay out for the majority of the bills etc.
You could go to Citizens Advice Bureau initially, and explain all to them. I think they could also get a half hour appointment with one of the bureaux solicitors for a voluntary donation. They(CAB) can tell you what your rights are with all your issues.
It will be costly with solicitors, however your peace of mind is paramount, and the sooner she is out of your hair the better for you.
As regards to her legal status, I dont think there is anything you can do.
But see the CAB and explain everything.
Let us know how you get on.
All the best.

[johnboy096]

Hi all,

See your MP as well, they carry a lot of weight, in terms of talking to the Home Secretary and her ministers.

Good luck man!

[bani]

Hi Marcus, I agree with everyone that you should seek a solicitor ASAP. If she is as pushy and stubborn and unreasonable as you say, then you will just have to involve a solicitor, hopefully you won't have to involve the police. She has taken so much from you already, and you might lose a lot more financially if you aren't careful.

About the boyfriend staying with you, that is just wrong and cruel on their part. And I would try to change the situation if I were you.

Good luck. This sad story seems to happen a lot. The good news is people do recover and learn from it.