Long distance relationship and moving to UK - Complicated

[hadro]

Basically I've been in a long distance relationship for around 12 months with a girl in California. We've grown very, very close and we're as sure as we can be that we want to get married and spend the rest of our lives together in the UK. The only problem is we haven't actually met yet and this is the reason I'm asking for advice.

There are several things that are complicating matters....

We've been looking at the different VISA options for Marriage in the UK and they state that you must have met on a previous occasion.

I have Muscular Dystrophy and travelling UK to USA would be almost impossible for me, plus I know that I wouldn't be welcomed by certain members of her family.

She suffers from Panic Disorder and it would be a major achievement for her to fly from the USA to the UK, but she's determined to do it! Hopefully as few times as possible.

Another problem she may face is, if she comes here and then returns home to do the necessary VISA application process she's likely to face a very angry Father with an unpredictable temper and criminal record for domestic abuse. Are there any exceptional circumstances where the VISA could be applied for while she's here in the UK. One thing I read a little about was the Certificate of Approval but I'm not sure if it's applicable.

I really have no idea where to go with this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[jei2]

She would n't need a Certificate of Approval if coming to the UK as a fiancee, just entry clearance in that category.

But first things first. Have you actually seen and/or spoken to each other? video cam etc?

As you say, the Home Office will prefer to see some evidence that you have met physically at least once.

What do your family think about it? Are you both over 18 and of a similar age? Are either of you able to work? If not could your income support her?

There are quite a few things that the Home Office would want to have evidence of and it might be difficult to overcome these without the support of relatives, friends etc.

It might be best to just apply for a visit visa and see how things go from there.

If she does apply as a visitor, you will need to write an invitation letter and if she's staying with you, to provide evidence that you have space for her and can fund her visit if she can't do it herself.

She won't be able to switch from a visitor to a fiancee so make sure that she does return home after her visit.

It's possible for entry clearance applications to be made from the UK so if she's an independent adult and her father has violent tendencies, I'm not sure why she would need to discuss her future plans with him.

Stay put for more advice from others - especially those who may have had similar experiences.

[jayen]

You don't need a letter to show where she is staying if she just comes for a week or two. She would enter from the US on a normal visitor's visa.

I was just out for 8 weeks this summer and they asked for nada. I brought bank statements to show I can afford my stay just in case.

I have heard from friends that if they don't ask at immigration when you get there - don't volunteer that you are meeting someone they see as a possible potential spouse and don't volunteer that you met on the internet.

Many people have been denied entry at the airport for these things.

Don't lie...just don't volunteer.

[hadro]

Thanks for the replies, I'll answer the questions raised so far.

We haven't actually met, but as far as communication goes we started emailing each other back in October last year. We also talk on the phone most days and I have statements showing we talk for around 10 to 15 hours per week. There is no access to a webcam but we have made little videos for each other on our cameras and emailed them to each other.

My family are fully supportive and her Mother is too, she would probably be travelling with her Mother. We were hoping they could travel to the UK together with her Mother returning to the US on her own.

There is a slight age difference as I'm 35 and she's 26.

I'm not working due to my health and as it's a progressive illness my situation is unlikely to improve. She can't work at the moment due to her Panic Disorder but there is every chance her condition would improve significantly if she moved away from her Father. Her Psychiatrist indicated her problems are more than likely a result of his voilent nature.

I know I could support her and living arrangements would be good as I'm a homeowner (I do share with other family members who fully support the relationship).

The reason her Father would be involved is because she lives with him. She wouldn't actually be discussing her plans with him and seeking his approval but he could (and probably would) make things very difficult for her.

[thsths]

Are there any exceptional circumstances where the VISA could be applied for while she's here in the UK. One thing I read a little about was the Certificate of Approval but I'm not sure if it's applicable.

You can apply for a visa from within the UK, but the Home Office interprets "exceptional circumstances" rather narrowly. Her illness together with the domestic situation may qualify, but that is open to interpretation.

The other problem is whether she would get a spouse visa at all. While you do have a right to family life, that does not come with a right for free health treatment. So the fact that she has no income and a potentially expensive condition certainly complicates things.

Anyway, I think the first step is to spend some time together. Many international relationships start on visitor visa, and I would certainly recommend to use this option before starting the more complicated process of moving together.

[Wanderer]

I think the OP needs a dose of reality and realise he merely has a penfriend at the moment. This talk of marriage is ridiculous - they don't know each other.

Sorry to be blunt but when u've seen as many of these relationships fail as I have you'd know where I'm coming from.

This is a disaster waiting to happen.

[hadro]

I think the OP needs a dose of reality and realise he merely has a penfriend at the moment. This talk of marriage is ridiculous - they don't know each other.

Sorry to be blunt but when u've seen as many of these relationships fail as I have you'd know where I'm coming from.

This is a disaster waiting to happen.

Thank you for your input. To be honest I can't explain it either, but everything feels so right. I've been in a long distance relationship before which didn't work out so I am aware of the dangers.

It does happen though....
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/6552333.stm

[republique]

I think the OP needs a dose of reality and realise he merely has a penfriend at the moment. This talk of marriage is ridiculous - they don't know each other.

Sorry to be blunt but when u've seen as many of these relationships fail as I have you'd know where I'm coming from.

This is a disaster waiting to happen.

maybe but that his call
the HO's call is to say not good enough if they choose to.

[jei2]

I'm in two minds.

Not having physically met is definitely an obstacle, but one that can be overcome. You can find true love anywhere (and who the hell can explain that?) and I know of similar cases that have met with visa success.

The difference was there'd generally been a lot more contact and the overseas partner would have been alleviating a lot of the state's costs of providing care.

My concern is that your girl might be seeing you (on a conscious or subconscious level) as an escape route from her father. Or that you might have your own emotional needs which have hyperventilated the whole thing into a grand love affair.

If an Entry Clearance Officer thinks the same any marriage application you make could be refused. You really need to be sure that this is the real deal for both of you. Get a few visits in and spend some time alone together. See how you get on when there's no support around.

Best of luck.

[Frontier Mole]

Your circumstances are particularly poor when considering a spouse visa. Third party support is a big no no, so any fiscal support from your family will not come into the equation. So the big problem will be your income, I imagine you are wholly dependent on benefits? Being on benefits is not always a visa killer, it depends on what benefits you receive. I am no expert on this area so worth having a look in the Benefits Forum for advice.

Fiancé visa is dead in the water - you have not met, not been in a conventional relationship or lived together so forget that route. It is just not going to happen.

Like others I think the best option is to go down the visit route, test the water so to speak and see how it goes from there.

[hadro]

My concern is that your girl might be seeing you (on a conscious or subconscious level) as an escape route from her father. Or that you might have your own emotional needs which have hyperventilated the whole thing into a grand love affair.

If an Entry Clearance Officer thinks the same any marriage application you make could be refused. You really need to be sure that this is the real deal for both of you. Get a few visits in and spend some time alone together. See how you get on when there's no support around.

That's actually a very good point and I'm glad you mentioned it. I talked about this with her last night and we agree that it may be best not to go down the route of mentioning the abuse at home if it's likely to affect any application at a later date. It's certainly given us something else to think about.

Thank you!

[hadro]

I imagine you are wholly dependent on benefits? Being on benefits is not always a visa killer, it depends on what benefits you receive. I am no expert on this area so worth having a look in the Benefits Forum for advice.

Yes, I receive Incapacity Benefit and D.L.A. (High Rate). I have looked into the Benefits Forum and online and, as far as I'm aware, that part of the problem should be okay.

[jes2jes]

As an American Citizen, assuming she has a US passport, your "fiance" does not require a visa to enter the UK for visits less than 6 months.

I think you should take all the advise you have been given and meet a couple of times before making the big jump. Mate, as the saying go, "been there, done that and got the T-shirt". It can be nasty (most of the time and heart breaking) and if successful it could also be equally joyous!

All the best!

[hadro]

I can't quite believe it's been 8 months since I started this thread, anyway, I just wanted to write a quick update.

We followed the advice of meeting up. She visited the UK and I went to the USA. There were some problems with her family which we expected, but we got through them and I ended up staying for 3 months on my last visit.

To cut a long story short, we got married (in the USA) and the spouse VISA was successfully obtained.

We just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone for the help they provided through this thread, and for the information we got from reading other people's experiences on other parts of these message boards.

[jei2]

That's fabulous news - it's great when a plan (and following good advice) comes together! All the best to you and your new wife, hadro.

[Alos]

Congratulations for the marriage and the visa application success. I have sent you a PM and would appreciate if you can have a look at it.[/quote]

[Rozen]

I don't normally post congratulations, but I'll make this an exception.... CONGRATULATIONS! All the best for the future with your wife, hadro.

[iyanu]

Congratulations Hydro!

I read this tread with a raptorous interest and I'm very glad for you that it turns out to be a positive outcome at last. I wish you and your lovely wife the best of married life together.

[1963British]

Thanks for the update!!! It is horrid when a thread ends and you wonder what happened.

Now you need to start planning on gathering materials over the next 24 months so she can get Indefinite Leave to Remain.

May I suggest that you look at the application and start gathering the information now. They are going to want documents gathered over a 24 month period that show the two of you actually live together.

Better to start working on it now instead of saying oh, no in two years.

May I also suggest that she works on the Life in the UK test now.