Grandfathering for spouse

[LittleBlue]

I am US citizen who married British man in 1974. In those days there was no problem in being allowed to reside in UK. I worked there, had 2 children, have NI and NHS numbers, bank accounts, jointly own home there. However in 1995 I had to return to US to care for aging parents (since deceased) So have lost Indefinite Leave to Remain. Have visited but not resided in UK since then. Husband and daughter still living there. He is now retired.
Has anyone had experience of trying to re-establish right to reside after such a gap? Immigration has told me I must go through the procedure to apply for permanent residence but this is so costly and, frankly, a lot of hassle for senior citizens! I was told that Immigration could send me back if I try to visit too many times.
Thanks for any advice.

[PaperPusher]

LittleBlue

Are you and your husband still married? If you are still married are you going to live with him as husband & wife? If you have been coming in as a visitor an the 6 month stamp it seems pretty clear to me that your ILR has now lapsed.

[LittleBlue]

Oh yes, still married. Originally planned on retiring to US but his health problems now make that just about impossible. I imagine at some point soon I will have to be on that side of the Atlantic more often -- but no more than the 6 month visa allows. Getting spousal visa etc. seems very time-consuming plus requires a lot of paper work we just don't have, e.g. "letters", proof of phone contact, airplane reservations to prove ongoing relationship. Never occurred to us to keep all that kind of thing.