I am American, married to a Brit for one month (married here in the U.S.), have never been to his home in Northern Ireland. We are planning to apply for spouse visa in a year when we've saved some money and I've had my dogs vetted for the PETS scheme, gotten my grown daughter married off, etc.
I was planning a visit to his home this spring and have now heard quite a few stories, both hearsay and personal experience, about spouses being turned away from a simple visit because the U.K. government is afraid we're going to decide to just stay there and that having a spouse there is a very strong incentive to just disappear into their country.
First of all, I would never jeopardize my entire future to disappear into some other country - that's ridiculous.
At first I ignored these stories, thinking they were just outliers or there was some other reason these spouses/partners were turned away at the border and sent home immediately with their own return ticket, but this just keeps cropping up over and over on every immigration forum I've visited - there must be something to it (and it's all very RECENT, in the past 2-3 years, not old stuff). Even some of the spouses who WEREN'T actually turned away have spent hours in detention rooms being "interviewed." Some are turned away and sent home, some are allowed to stay for 48 hours and then must return to the airport to retrieve their passport and then be sent home, and others are eventually waved through to complete their visit.
It seems the advice on the boards is to just lie and say you're in the U.K. for some other reason (this will be my first time there in over a decade, so it's not like I'd have to explain multiple visits or anything), book a hotel and have the itinerary to show the officials at the border, pretend you're just a regular tourist, etc. The thing is that I don't want to lie about anything, even though just saying I'm a regular tourist wouldn't be a lie - I have never seen Northern Ireland and we have a lot of touristy-type things planned for my visit. But it still seems like a lie of omission and I don't like the feeling that I'm a criminal or have to jump through hoops to prove I'm not "up to something fishy" by visiting my HUSBAND, for crying out loud!
SO, my questions: What can I do to limit the chances of this happening to me when I visit in the spring? I want to just honestly say "I'm here to visit my husband" without feeling like a naughty child, but the thought of being sent home immediately and losing all that money (which would in effect mean we won't be seeing each other at all in the year between getting married and applying for the visa - we do not have money to throw away).
1) Is there something I can do or say or bring to make sure I'm allowed in?
2) I was considering coming in through Dublin since it's often cheaper than through Belfast and then just driving north - would that eliminate the entire problem or make the scrutiny that much worse?
3) Does this really happen in a high percentage of cases or am I just getting a skewed view of this because the people it DOES happen to are understandably very angry and vocal about it on the boards?
I know that no one here is going to suggest I lie - but is saying I'm here to see some sights and visit the UK (which is true) all I should say, leaving out the part about staying with my husband? That feels like a lie, because of course I want to crow to the whole world that I'M HERE TO SEE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I AIN'T GETTIN' ANY YOUNGER HERE FOLKS!!!, but somehow that has "headed west with my head in my hands" written all over it.
HELP! REAL PRACTICAL ADVICE, PLEASE, ON THE CHANCES OF THIS HAPPENING AND WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T, IF ANYTHING.
