I am also from California and in an almost identical situation except for that my fiance got rejected a student visa under 214(b).
I am hoping for clarification from Kayalami or another moderator.
Why is it dangerous to try to enter on the VWP while waiting for a fiance visa. According to the US embassy for Japan's website it shouldn't be a problem just so long as you plan to leave within 90 days and be back in Japan for the visa interview:
http://japan.usembassy.gov/e/visa/tvisa ... l#thirteen
If you intend taking up permanent residence in the U.S., you are required to wait until the fiancé(e) visa is issued. You cannot reside in the U.S. on a tourist visa or visa free under the Visa Waiver Program while waiting the issuance of a fiancé(e) visa. If you wish to make a temporary visit after which you will return to your permanent residence outside the U. S., you may travel on a tourist (B-2) visa, or visa free under the Visa Waiver Program, if eligible.
(Bold emphasis is mine)
Am I reading this wrong? Also, I understood that you would only barred from the US for 5 years if you are turned away at the border twice. Does a rejection in Japan at the consulate for a student visa count as one strike there? Is that why you said getting rejected at the border could lead to being banned for 5 years?
I'm not trying to argue here as I'm sure all the moderators know a lot more about this than I do but I was just hoping for clarification as to why the things you said are true.
The Canada plan seemed like a good one if there was no risk of getting banned for 5 years and there was no risk of it affecting our chances of getting a fiance visa.
Thank you so much in advance for any information you can supply.