parent of a british child

[Obie]

For the life of me, I do not know why people can be so heartless. You are related outside marriage and one will expect that to prevent such behaviour.

Even if he gets a court order, he will only succeed in getting a visa if he demonstrates he is playing a role in the life of the child and intend to continue doing so for the foreseeable future.

He will need you to write such confirmation, which I am sure you will not give.

The only thing I worry for you is that if you do anything, this could damage family relation.

He is not any unrelated guy you fell in love with, this is a cousin, so as best as possible, try not to be the one at fault.

[coffeegirl]

For the life of me, I do not know why people can be so heartless. You are related outside marriage and one will expect that to prevent such behaviour.

Even if he gets a court order, he will only succeed in getting a visa if he demonstrates he is playing a role in the life of the child and intend to continue doing so for the foreseeable future.

He will need you to write such confirmation, which I am sure you will not give.

The only thing I worry for you is that if you do anything, this could damage family relation.

He is not any unrelated guy you fell in love with, this is a cousin, so as best as possible, try not to be the one at fault.

Hi Obie,

Thanks for the fast reply. What exactly is meant by 'playing an active role in the life of the child'?
You are right, I would not write a confirmation any time soon.

Yes, you would expect that family relations would not do this and in any case, if things were not working out with me then at least to tell me and be a man about it rather than abandon me but alas.

I am already labelled as a bad wife, girl to those who have supported my husband and those who have supported me understand what happened. It is difficult as a family member is helping him in all legal matters and he is a specialist in immigration law. Mostly the family relations have already gone beyond repair and turned sour.

[Obie]

You are not entirely powerless in that regards, there are many things you can do to frustrate contact, if you have the smoking gun that he has no care and interest in your child and only wants visa.

If however he does want to play an active role, you do owe it to the child to give him.a change. But keep a watchful eyes.

[coffeegirl]

You are not entirely powerless in that regards, there are many things you can do to frustrate contact, if you have the smoking gun that he has no care and interest in your child and only wants visa.

If however he does want to play an active role, you do owe it to the child to give him.a change. But keep a watchful eyes.

What do you mean by not powerless? Whatdo you mean by frustrate contact?

I have been looking for even an ounce of change however he has to date never inquired about the baby, made an effort, sent even a measly card so I can safely say he is not interested. I am not against Father's rights and activly encourage it but I can't force someone who doesn't want to.

[CR001]

Posts merged.

Again!

[supusers]

Hi guys,
Some of you may remember me from my last post regarding my ex husband and his immigration status. With the help of a very lovely lady on here, I was able to get his leave to remain curtailed.

I moved on with my life after lots of messy reconciliation efforts between both families which were rejected by my husband's family. All attempts were done through his and my family members. He pretty much disappeared of the scene.

It has now been 7 months and after having been in talks with the Home Office, I managed to get his spouse visa curtailed. His visa finished yesterday and today I have received court papers to initiate contact with his daughter. I know this is only for immigration reasons, he has no interest in the child.

My daughter is now 8 months and has not seen him since she was 1 and half months old. She is very clingy with me and does not stay with anyone she doesn't know. She would not recognize her father at all. As children we also have seen my mum stay in an abusive marriage for almost 3 decades and it has had devastating effects on us so much so that I now CANNOT break free of the bond I have with my father even if he is a toxic person. I wouldn't want my daughter to go through the same as her father was also a toxic person. So at this point I will be opposing all contact especially when he didn't think to see her in the past 8 months but has now sent an order in the day after his visa expired.

Another thing I noticed was that he put in his C100 form that he does not qualify for mediation because he does not have contact details for me but on the other hand, he has put down my phone number etc. I also moved back into my mums house which is where we both lived together at some point. So basically our addresses and contact details are the same as day 1. Is there any way I can oppose this?

I've never really been in court much and am feeling quite scared and lost by all the legalities - what are my chances of success?

Hi would you please tell me what the outcome of your situation was I’m in a similar situation and I’m stressed I have a 1 year old daughter he’s visa has been curtailed but worried sick he will try using my daughter who he’s never seen he is a stranger for her please please let me know I will be so grateful thank you

[Casa]

This thread is from 2017 and member coffeegirl hasn't visited the forum since Jan 01, 2018