Zambrano- Residency on an Irish born child

[mred1]

Hi everyone, I need some advise...

I am a single mom of a 2 years old Irish Girl, Her dad and I met in the UK & the relationship ended before i knew i was pregnant... I did the pregnancy alone, on having my child, i called him for maintenance but he refused, he said he had nothing to offer and didn't want to know the child unless i married him. (He is an illegal alien in UK). So we never spoke until around the time she almost turned 2, i traveled to the UK and we met up, he never gave the child anything nor bought her anything..

Today, he calls me saying he needs my help, he wants to come to IRELAND to seek asylum, he said he wants to tell them if they ask him that he has a child with me & give them my number, eventually they will ask for a DNA from me & give him residency..

I have told him this is risky, as he hasn't paid maintenance or been a part of her life! I really dont mind them calling me & doing the DNA but what are his chances? he is originally from GAMBIA... ( he will tell them he is just arriving from gambia , not sure what passport he will use)(I only have a stamp 4 myself).

[Zohaibmustafa]

first of all its ur life dat u know wat to do.but dont u think hes using you and child to get his stamp for ireland?as u said he wants nothing to do with you and child unless you marry him.what he was thinking when he was making ur child.he didnt think to marry you first then make child and now when he needs you he wants to be there.i bet u when he gets his stamp he will leave u again.rest is up to you wat you do with him.its YOUR LIFE.

[IntegratedMigrant]

first of all its ur life dat u know wat to do.but dont u think hes using you and child to get his stamp for ireland?as u said he wants nothing to do with you and child unless you marry him.what he was thinking when he was making ur child.he didnt think to marry you first then make child and now when he needs you he wants to be there.i bet u when he gets his stamp he will leave u again.rest is up to you wat you do with him.its YOUR LIFE.

Zohaibmustafa stop! just stop!. You are not meant to judge people, not on this forum!. You tend to be so naive!.

You listened to one side of the story and you already started making judgement against the other person that did not tell you his own side of the story!. This is the last time I'll warn you on this forum.

She is here for advice not negative comments about her EX. Get real

[IntegratedMigrant]

Hi everyone, I need some advise...

I am a single mom of a 2 years old Irish Girl, Her dad and I met in the UK & the relationship ended before i knew i was pregnant... I did the pregnancy alone, on having my child, i called him for maintenance but he refused, he said he had nothing to offer and didn't want to know the child unless i married him. (He is an illegal alien in UK). So we never spoke until around the time she almost turned 2, i traveled to the UK and we met up, he never gave the child anything nor bought her anything..

Today, he calls me saying he needs my help, he wants to come to IRELAND to seek asylum, he said he wants to tell them if they ask him that he has a child with me & give them my number, eventually they will ask for a DNA from me & give him residency..

I have told him this is risky, as he hasn't paid maintenance or been a part of her life! I really dont mind them calling me & doing the DNA but what are his chances? he is originally from GAMBIA... ( he will tell them he is just arriving from gambia , not sure what passport he will use)(I only have a stamp 4 myself).

I'd advice you to sit down and talk with him, I bet you both will come up with an agreement really since you sounded like someone thats willing to help and him in the other hand needs your help. Then you can decide the next step to take. Best of luck

[IntegratedMigrant]

@mred1 please ignore Zohaibmustafa

[mred1]

Thanks Mustofa & integrated... I honestly came her for advise...

What are his chances? that's what i want to know, I really don't want to end up in a sticky mess, I don't want a situation where by he will be stuck with me, he has never assisted me in any shape or form towards my child.

No evidence of his assistance, his name is also not on the birth certificate. I don't know if he will use my address in the justice department. Is it easy to just come in and get your stamp 4 on the zambrano case?

I would love to help if the Lord puts me in a position of assistance, but i fear i will end up coughing out his solicitors bills etc( he asked me for £££) the other day!...i wonder where he gets the guts to call me after 7 months of non hearing to ask me for things (he knows i am very kind hearted)... but the truth is i don't work myself & i am trying to help myself & child. thank you

Mustofa ( You are right, I know he is only using me, he is already living with another woman & also has another child in his country... he doesn't want to come back or marry me, he only needs his residency).

BTW, we are not in talking terms like that, he calls me, maybe once in 5/7 months to ask for help or say something about how negative his life is...

[IntegratedMigrant]

Thanks Mustofa & integrated... I honestly came her for advise...

What are his chances? that's what i want to know, I really don't want to end up in a sticky mess, I don't want a situation where by he will be stuck with me, he has never assisted me in any shape or form towards my child.

No evidence of his assistance, his name is also not on the birth certificate. I don't know if he will use my address in the justice department. Is it easy to just come in and get your stamp 4 on the zambrano case?

I would love to help if the Lord puts me in a position of assistance, but i fear i will end up coughing out his solicitors bills etc( he asked me for £££) the other day!...i wonder where he gets the guts to call me after 7 months of non hearing to ask me for things (he knows i am very kind hearted)... but the truth is i don't work myself & i am trying to help myself & child. thank you

Mustofa ( You are right, I know he is only using me, he is already living with another woman & also has another child in his country... he doesn't want to come back or marry me, he only needs his residency).

BTW, we are not in talking terms like that, he calls me, maybe once in 5/7 months to ask for help or say something about how negative his life is...

Honestly this is so personal and I also dont think its fair to give you personal advice when I haven't heard from the other party (your ex).

Thinking negatively, he might simply be a user that is useless taking great advantage of you, thinking positively, he may had no choice when he left you and in deep need of your help now, and that why he stripped all the embarrassment its gonna cost him away and contacted you asking for your help.

Again we dont know as its a mystery given that we havent hear the side of his story.

You know the whole story, you've been there, he is the father of your child regardless what happens. The best advice I will give you is make the decision on how you feel. If you think he deserves help, then help, if you dont think so then dont. Its all on you