My wife Bulgarian, I am British. We are getting divorced.

[UKBRITISH]

Hello,

Firstly, can I say thank you to anyone who replies to this forum your your help in advance.

Now, if I can explain our situation I hope someone can offer the correct advice about what we need to do.

I am British, my wife of three months is Bulgarian, and she came over last year in December 2006 and we got married in March this year. Everything was fine until we started having problems, mainly because of me (I accept responsibility) as I began to feel unhappy in the relationship and realised that it was not right for both of us.

Obviously, when someone has feelings like this, doubts or whatever, it makes sense to do something and we have tried to work things out but I want to end it.

May I mention at this point that we have not had sex, as she is unable to, as she has a medical condition (which I WAS aware of) and which I thought would not be a problem. But it is and I have tried to deal with and failed. This has a lot to do with the break down of the relationship, but there are other reasons too.

Now we have decided to part. It is a very amicable arrangement and we are both communicating well, (no arguments ect, just sadness)....but what worries me most is that she will have to leave the Uk. I don't think she deserves to and I want to help her to stay here cos she hates Bulgaria so much and loves the UK.

As we are married, there are obvious implications, and I am happy to stay 'married' if needs be to help her out so she can stay.

Am I/are we breaking the law doing this??? As far as I am concerned we are separating, but still married. She is moving out next weekend (20th May) to start an au pair job that I found for her.

Basically, I want to help her and don't feel she should have to return to Bulgaria. She has her work permit, that was granted to her because she was married to me, but now I don't know what is going to happen to her. OK, we can keep it quiet and say that we are seperated, because we will be, and that shouldn't affect anything, (should it?) but I am concerned for her future.

What is the best thing we can do?? What shall I do in the future? Is there a way round this that will enable her stay long term?

Thanks ever so much for taking the time to read it. Any advice much appreciated.

[John]

I think she retains her EU/EEA rights irrespective of the separation but the situation might well be different when the marriage has actually ended.

Divorce? You obviously need to speak to a Family Law solicitor about this but instead of a divorce it might be possible to get the marriage nullified, as it has not been consummated.

But a comment .. all this after less than three months of marriage? Have the two of you really given enough time to work out your problems?

[UKBRITISH]

Thanks John.

Yes we have. As I made said, the decision is mainly mine. I know I want to end it. If u understand, when the seeds are planted, (of discontent) then thet is rarely any going back.

I know I can get the marriage annulled. The problem is, would we/she be in the same situation as if we get divorced?

I know the mistake I made, I am all too aware of it. We should have lived togther first and then probably we would have realised the situation sooner...

it was rather a 'shotgun' wedding....probably because we were both desperately lonely and wanted to be together, hence the need to get married so she could come here and work. But it's not worked. the romance has died on my part (maybe my fault, probably), but I still care a great deal for her. I just don't love her, and the sex problem is a big factor.

You may want to criticise this, I wouldn't blam you or anyone. I know I have tried everything. I have arranged therapy for her, brought her books, tried to be gentle, tried abstaining...oh god...everything...

So you think if we stay 'separated' she will be OK?? I really don't know what to do for her, and i feel i owe her something. At least the right to stay here.....

I need to know the facts but it is so hard trying to find out.....

I almost wish I was a complete B*****D so I just didn't give a S***

thanks anyway....

pete

[SYH]

Sorry the situation smacks fraud from a BIA/IND point of view.

If you want to help her out, I don't think you should be shoveling her off to another location for an aupair job. It won't look right, you won't have the proper documentation so that after 3 years she can stay without sponsorship.

You already realized that Annulation and Divorce are not an option in order to keep her legally

You made your bed, now lie in it

The comment from the peanut gallery would be Marriage is not always about Love and Satisfaction. It is a partnership sometimes based on common interests, or sometimes its just about supporting the partner in certain ways. People seem to have this romantic notion that you have to have this overwheliming feeling of love and physical affection tfor it to work. In the earlier days, most marriages were arranged and based on what each partner brought to the table, dowry, cows, something intangible counts to. You can see that in history with marriages of kings and queens. At the end of the day, marriage iis about being mature and responsible. You will have to take it from that point of view if your intentions are as honorable as you purport.

[John]

It won't look right, you won't have the proper documentation so that after 3 years she can stay without sponsorship.

I am not sure that applies. She is an EEA national, not the family member of one, but is subject to transitional arrangements allied to the admission of her country into the EU/EEA.

So thinking more about this, I think that after 12 months with the permit in her passport she can obtain a normal Residence Permit, and is thus then able to utilise EU treaty Rights in the same way as a French, Spanish etc etc citizen is.

But I do agree, after less than 3 months of marriage "the situation smacks of fraud from a BIA/IND point of view". At the very least, it does not look good!

[SYH]

That's good news for him, then it reduces the prison sentence from 3 to 1 year. IN any case, he still shouldn't be shoveling her off to another location until her situation can be sorted whether its 1 year or 3.

[UKBRITISH]

That's good news for him, then it reduces the prison sentence from 3 to 1 year. IN any case, he still shouldn't be shoveling her off to another location until her situation can be sorted whether its 1 year or 3.

I had no idea this was so serious....

SYH, i think you need to understand something here and that is that I have tried my best and the marriage is not going to work. Do you seriously reccommend staying together despite one person being very unhappy. It isn't just about the sex, it's a slow realisation that we don't share the same interests and that we are not right for each other. I thought it would work, that's why we got married. I made a mistake, I realise that and hold my hands up.

It isn't about 'shipping her off'....it's about trying to help her get some income for herself and giving her some independence so she can make a life for herself and be away from an unhappy situation. I am only trying to help her.

John, what would you suggest I do?

I really don't want to do the wrong thing and certainly not anything illegal. I am quite concerned now obviously.

[SYH]

Cmon Uk British. Deal with it. You brought her over here. Be Responsible. It is probably a year as John said.
And you missed the point, which was what you said, it isn't about the sex, so if it isn't, then take care of her.
You can't have her live somewhere else, whatever good motives you may have.
And for goodness sake, you only have been in it for 3 months. You know most divorces require, at least from the US , 6 months to 1 year before the court grants it. Why? because the courts have found that people tend to work it out in that time. You haven't even given it that much which just looks lame in my book.

[John]

You know most divorces require, at least from the US , 6 months to 1 year before the court grants it.

Here in the UK it is one year. That is, it is not possible to even file the divorce petition until at least one year after the marriage has happened.

And for the good reasons that SYH states.

[petkanov]

As an EEA national she is subject to transitional rules only if she wants to work as an employee. But she can stay as much as she wants as long as she doesn't claim benefits, or if she is self employed. She doensnt need permission from IND for that. So the answer is she can remain in the UK because all the rules for EEA nationals apply except working as an employee. IF she is working for 12 months, she can get a registration certificate, or she can apply for one now while still you are married. Under EU law, it is not a problem to be separated, and only when a divorce is final then the family member looses rights. But if she apply for registration certificate now, while you are still married, it is issued without expiration day and says UNLIMITED ACCESS TO THE LABOR MARKET. SHe can apply on form BR1 it is free and usually is processed within two weeks. SO, fraud wouldn' apply in case you don't divorce, because you might be separated and who knows you might change your mind and get back together. Either way, she canot be removed from the UK.

[SYH]

It smacks fraud to be married for 3 months and stop living together.
Whether its fraud or not is another issue.

[UKBRITISH]

It smacks fraud to be married for 3 months and stop living together.
Whether its fraud or not is another issue.

I totally understand this, and why. But we are both honest citizens and quite frankly I am a little offended that people may suggest that there is a 'fraud' issue here. We followed all the correct procedures when we got married, apllied for all the necessary visas when she initially came over last year ( as we needed one then before Bulgaria came into the EU, and INCIDENTALLY wasted £350 doing this as we were told we wouldn't need one after Jan 1st 2007!)

Then after we got married we applied for her Workers Registration Certificate, which she now has and she is working part time.

I fully understand people's opinions, but it is unfortunate the way things have turned out. I have decided (well we have decided) that if absolutely necessary we will stay togther as though married and continue to live together. It could be a lot worse. We are not arguing nor have we fallen out. I know my responsibilties but I am the one with the problem. I accept that. We certainly dont want to break the law....

As an EEA national she is subject to transitional rules only if she wants to work as an employee. But she can stay as much as she wants as long as she doesn't claim benefits, or if she is self employed. She doensnt need permission from IND for that. So the answer is she can remain in the UK because all the rules for EEA nationals apply except working as an employee. IF she is working for 12 months, she can get a registration certificate, or she can apply for one now while still you are married. Under EU law, it is not a problem to be separated, and only when a divorce is final then the family member looses rights. But if she apply for registration certificate now, while you are still married, it is issued without expiration day and says UNLIMITED ACCESS TO THE LABOR MARKET. SHe can apply on form BR1 it is free and usually is processed within two weeks. SO, fraud wouldn' apply in case you don't divorce, because you might be separated and who knows you might change your mind and get back together. Either way, she canot be removed from the UK.

petkanov...thank you for your advice. I will need to look into what you have told me. Is there anywhere I can get more advice on what we will do if we do decide to seperate? yes, I can see your point, because legally if we are seperated, that will be OK? because like you say, we may in the eyes of the law get back together.....and who knows what the future holds for us and our feelings. these may even change in time...

I am trying my hardest to do the right thing for both of us. Please do not criticise or make judgements. I am a good person and try always to respect the law.

Thanks

[petkanov]

What document did she received after application? Did you apply after 1st Jan? Did she receive a blue type of booklet with vignette in it? If that's what she got, then she doesn't need to apply for nothing else, and can continue working after divorce. Anyway, you can get the info I gave you on: british-embassy.bg then under services and visas you will get the guides about Bulgarians after 1st jan. Bottom line is don't worry, if she hasn't got the registration certificate, she can get it now, and even if you divorce, as long as she is working nobody is going to bother her. THe certificate says that she is exersising treaty right. But even if she doesn't have any documents, she cannot be removed from the UK as she is not subject to Immigration control. check the internal instructions of IND: http://www.ind.homeoffice.gov.uk/docume ... iew=Binary and look into section 2 which is specifically for Bulgaria and Romania

[petkanov]

Then she can apply on form BR1

[Wanderer]

And in any case u have to have been married 12 months before you can divorce.

[UKBRITISH]

What document did she received after application? Did you apply after 1st Jan?

She recieved the UK RESIDENCE DOCUMENTATION FOR NATIONAL OF AN EEA STATE

Type of document : Registration Certificate
Remarks : No restictions on Employment in the UK

However, she was given this on the basis that she was married to me and that I am a UK national. Will this be invalid if we are not actually living together anymore but still married?

OK...so we can't get divorced for 12 months and I don't think we want to as seperation will be better I think. We do still care about each other enough, but don't feel comfortable living together.

[OL7MAX]

You don't need a divorce to live separately. You do not need to inform the HO if you are living separately (AFAIK) or living together and not sharing a bed. Why get complicit in any questionable activity? Why not let her sort her immigration status out herself? It does appear she has posted elsewhere on this board.

[Kaytlinn]

Hiya UKBritish guy!
Very interesting story in deed...
For us Bulgarians isn't very easy to survive on those forced work restrictions in the UK. I myself had to face lotsa discrimination and unfairness moving alone to Britain. Fortunately am still alive and kickin.
Why would you want your wife goin for a dumbass job as nanny?
If you really care for her advise her on getting a degree. Theres places she could study for free. And surely she wont lose her right to work after shes got the Registration Certificate.
I don't blame her hating Bulgaria, i know where she comes from, but becoming british citizen and living here for the rest of her life, oh that's a real challenge.
Regarding getting divorce to live seperately, i don't think that's necessary, many ppl do it when they separate for one or another reason, but avoid divorce, well in England might be different.

PS: Might've been wise thing to live together before the decision of marrying. Or she's been in a hurry to runaway from the horid Bulgaria .