British Citizen and feel sad, worried and what not!

[infoneeded123]

Hi, I would like to have some advice on my personal situation.

I'm a naturalized British citizen and got citizenship through marriage with a British citizen. I was granted citizenship in June 2014 and i have been married with my wife for nearly six years now. Our marriage is not working out anymore as we are always having arguments that I might be having an affair with other people and she just accuses me day and night that I have extra marital relations with other women.

I feel absolutely mentally tortured by this woman and I'm getting gray hair rapidly due to this intense and nasty environment. I started doing a degree full time last year and I couldn't give my final first year exams due to her having constant accusations and arguments with me. Ever since we got married and throughout my spouse visa period from 2010 to 2012 I got mentally and physically abused by her. After my ILR in 2012 and until today she keeps threatening me that she will contact home office and will get me deported. She hits me quite often and 3 days ago I was watching telly and she came back from work and she said '' I was at work all day today and you must have been talking to other women today'' and then all of a sudden she hit me with her shoe which struck me in my left rib cage and I was on the floor with excruciating pain. She threatens me that If i tell her father she will call police.

In these last 6 years she hit me and gave me immense mental stress. She used to call my work place and she would ask them questions what time I come to work and what time I finish and if I have any girl friends at work. My manager said ''whats wrong with this woman''.

Now after 6 years of marriage and during which she supported all my applications for fiance, spouse, ILR and Citizenship she threatens me that if I left her she will contact home office and will tell them that I am a fraudster who used her to stay here and she will get me deported.

I'm so stressed out that we lived together like normal couple in a genuine marriage and all of her family members were in marriage and on my citizenship ceremony her parents were present, and I have every single piece of evidence that we lived together just like any other married couple I'm under severe mental stress as she keeps threatening by saying ''Don't you worry if you leave me you have another thing coming''.

Please someone guide me what shall I do. I'm having a nervous breakdown coz of her and I seriously believe that she will cause problems if I leave. Do i have any rights being a british ctizen in this country? She is a very jealous woman and she just can't digest the fact that I will still be living here in this country if I just leave and go live somewhere in peace, she wants a revenge, if I just runaway from her day and night constant abuse. I don't want to eat any thing I'm just so stressed out coz of her threats.

She says your parents couldn't come to this country and you were not born here so you don't have any right to live here if you don't live with me I will get you deported back to your home country. Now I seriously believe that i don't have any rights to live here as she says she will tell home office to remove me.
She threatens me with police and says if you tell my father I'm gonna call police on you and tell them that you hit and in reality she hits me and I feel so miserable all day.

She scrams my hands and like every two weeks I get scrammed by her and people at my work ask me that what happened to your hands and I told them that its ''nothing''.

Please help, what shall I do? I'm absolutely fed of having day n night arguments with this woman and can she get me deported just by accusing me.???

[infoneeded123]

Even now at the time of writing my ordeal she just called me and said '' don't you dare to think that you will stay here if you leave me.''

I seriously believe that as a naturalized citizen I don't have any rights or my rights are not equivalent to some one who is a born citizen. She says that you were not born here in this country and your parents didn't come to this country so you do not have any right to live here.


I didn't have any intention to use her to stay here as we lived in a normal marriage together for 6 years and during all these years she supported all applications and signed all forms and went with me to NCS for citizenship application but now she threatens me that she will get me deported if I leave her constant mental abuse and physical assaults.

As a British Citizen can she get me deported after 6 years of marriage by making accusations that I used her to stay here?

[secret.simon]

Once you had ILR, your immigration status is free of your family. And now that you have citizenship, you are doubly safe.

Citizenship is only revoked for reason of national security or deception. So long as you were genuinely married at the time of the applications and said so, it is completely overboard.

By genuine marriage, I mean that you were not divorced nor were you in a polygamous marriage.

Indeed, victims of domestic violence get protection even if they are in the UK illegally. You are a British citizen and have a right to be in the UK, independently of your wife.

There is no difference between the citizenship of a naturalised British citizen and a British citizen by birth. All British citizens have the right to live in the UK and have the right to protection of the law.

As regards your wife's behaviour, I would strongly urge you to go to the police on 999. From your description of her behaviour, what she is doing to you is a crime and needs to be dealt with by the police. She may need medical attention.

40% of victims of domestic violence are men. Seek help. There are charities that offer support for domestic violence for men, such as Men's Advice Line. Call them on 0808 801 0327 (9AM to 5PM).

[infoneeded123]

Thank you so much for your reply, You put my mind at ease, may God bless you.

I was absolutely in a genuine relationship at the time of citizenship and she was present at NCS appointment with her passport and signed every thing. we took our council issued original civil marriage certificate at the time application and that was in 2014 and even today we are still married and living together after 2 years of citizenship and still legally married and NOT yet divorced.

I'm just scared of her threats and she says her uncles will get me deported as they know people.

[secret.simon]

I would get mildly panicky if her uncles knew Theresa May personally, but even she can not get you deported without cause and have her arguments to have you deported heard and judged in open court.

This is the UK and we are, thankfully, subject to the rule of law and you have nothing to fear from the law.

I again urge you to contact the police about this.

If not the police, speak to the charity and break away from such an abusive relationship.

And have a checkup with your GP as well. S/he may be able to signpost some more help resources for you.

[infoneeded123]

By the way her uncles support Labour party and I have seen them campaigning for Labour always as one of her uncles is local labour Councillor, so I don't know if that could cause any reason to panic?

They don't know the person you mentioned but they do know local MP and few other mp and couple of house of lord members and the new london mayor for sure. they know him.

[infoneeded123]

My parents live back home and she even rings them and swears at them as why I sent them just 500 pounds in the last 6 years. When we got married my dad gave us £5000 for a deposit towards a house which she used up all and we never bought a house. I was offered many jobs in first years of marriage and she wouldn't let me do them as she said '' you want to work with women and you gonna run away''.

I walked passed a girl who lives next door with her husband and she said you were looking at her and you want her!! what the hell I mean even if she sees girls on road she says don't you dare look at them or I will rip your eyes out.

If I don;t pick up my phone then there you are it means I'm in MASSIVE trouble and if i come home from work or University she just starts having constant arguments. she swear at me, my parents and my sister for no reason. My parents don't call on home phone any more as she swears at them and they don't like that. so I ring them from her contracted phone which is in her name and this phone gets checked every single day and every single hour if she is at home. If she is at work she comes home and checks my computer, and phone thoroughly before going to bed. I bought computer myself for £450 and she has put password on it and blocked my access.

If i don't ring her straight after my lecture which used to finish at 6 in evening then it means I should be prepared to face her when I come home. If I'm two minutes late she goes'' so who you have been talking to? some woman?'' If its 6:15 and for some reason I can't ring her e.g if it is raining and I try not to use phone as it might get wet being an expensive phone she starts texting me and calls me a ''Bastard''

She just calls me a Bastard every time she texts me. We don't have kids and I don't even want kids with this person as I don't want to live with her for next 6 years. I will go mad honestly.

My parents are always stressed out due to her and they try not to call me. I feel so depressed when she swears at them and she uses vile and most disgusting language involving sexual references for my sister.

Her parents don't come here in this house where we live and if when it gets really bad the arguments then I somehow manage to ring my parents back home to get them call her father to come and rescue me from her. when her dad comes here she goes to him'' I SAID NOTHING TO HIM AND HE IS LYING''.

I once said to her I'm gonna contact police and she said to me ''They won't believe you coz you are a freshy''

3-4 months ago she showed me pics of a man and said she wants to get married with him as he has a good career and I want to go with him and she told me to leave her and find someone else but later she changed her mind.
My back hurts as she hit me with her big heel boot 2 months ago and I was in a lot of pain, I was on floor and cried in pain with my hand on my mouth so that no one listens.

When I was on a spouse visa I had some skin condition and she would bend me down still hit me on my back and I would cry with my hand on my mouth so that neighbors don't call police.

She works and pays for bills and I work part time and go to university full time and i pay for food and she regularly withdraws money from bank card and whenever we have arguments she goes what you have given me? nothing. You gave me nothing!!!

She didn't let me take full time work as according to her I would run away with some other girl if I worked full time with women. I started doing an accounting degree and she said you chose accounting particularly coz it's a women field and you wanted to work with women!!!!!!.

The list goes on and on and on and there is no end to it. I spent 6 long years with her and got beaten up at least 2-3 times a week.

[zzzindagi]

By the way her uncles support Labour party and I have seen them campaigning for Labour always as one of her uncles is local labour Councillor, so I don't know if that could cause any reason to panic?

They don't know the person you mentioned but they do know local MP and few other mp and couple of house of lord members and the new london mayor for sure. they know him.

You are suffering because of your lack of knowledge. Because she knows that you know nothing about the immigration law that's why she is threatening you. You have been in this country since last 6 year but it seems like you have just entered in the UK. No one is above the law in UK and you should not be worried if you have not done anything wrong.

[infoneeded123]

I have never done anything wrong, i don't have any criminal record at all. All my enhanced DBS checks are super clean. I'm just so scared that she will ring home office and will accuse me of things just to put me in trouble somehow so that I can't live here.

[zzzindagi]

You are a British Citizen now. You should not be worried about getting deported on someone's complaint. You can live your independent life without any fear.
You should keep evidence of her abuse or call Police if she hit you again. Don't live your life in fear.

[infoneeded123]

You are a British Citizen now. You should not be worried about getting deported on someone's complaint. You can live your independent life without any fear.
You should keep evidence of her abuse or call Police if she hit you again. Don't live your life in fear.

Thank you, I appreciate your reply.At least there is someone out there to give me some hope.

[Casa]

You have as much right to live here as anyone else who is a British citizen. As secret.simon has advised, contact the police and speak to your GP. There's a better life out there for you...just believe in it. Your wife or your family can't have you deported from what is now your own country.

[noajthan]

You have proven your ILR and claim to citizenship is valid - it has been accepted and you are British now.
The Home Office will not act on unsubstantiated tittle tattle that is clearly malicious.

None of this will be easy but you can seek support and people will respond and help.
That relationship is very toxic and needs to be ended. It appears the wife needs to seek help too.

If you are in a university there should be good, confidential support available there - and also a whole new network of friends.

Good luck.

[kankerot]

It sounds to me there is more to this story. Was this an arranged marriage are you related to this women other than she being your wife?

You should end the thought that you will have your citizenship stripped - the more likely scenario is her going to jail than you if what you say is all true.

In any case get everything documented with a charity or some other agency so you at least have a record and then discuss this with your family members on what to do.

[imnewhere]

kankerot, i am thinking along the same lines as you. There is probably more to the story. Without discrediting the OP, the fear appears to be stem from something other than just what has been disclosed. As previously indicated, if there has been no deception, then there is nothing to worry about.
Having an affair is not a crime, even if you were cheating on her, it doesnt affect your citizenship, can only affect your marriage ( seeking a divorce) but no bearing on you now since you are british.

[Kaalo1980]

Very sad to hear
Don't worry u r British now u r free she needs mental treatment

[david1955]

you haven't cheated home office in anyway.

But if your wife thinks that you have cheated. Then she will be first one to go to jail coz she supported you in cheating home office.

Don't worry home office neglects this type of accusations. Coz they are aware that when marriage breaks down people tries to throw all types of tantrums on there partner or ex-partner. It will be on your partner to prove how you cheated. Her word will not be taken into account. It has to be some sought of documentary concrete proof.

and i think she is having some sought of extra marital affair that's why she is having problem in balancing her married life

[UKBALoveStory]

Strange, how people pass judgments without listening to other party. This is an immigration forum and advice has already been given that there will be no effect on citizenship.

[CR001]

Agree with the poster above regarding 'judging'. As the OP has been advised already that there is no threat to his citizenship, this topic will now be locked.