Separation/ Stamp 4 Advice

[file girl]

Hi,

My non EU husband and I, an Irish citizen, married September 2008. He applied and received Stamp 4 in April 2009. Residency was only granted for 1 year's duration, so next month we will be asked to return to GNIB for interview.

We have been separated the last three months. I am unsure as to what the future holds for us personally as I am the one who left him.

I want to ask-
1. Is it worth remaining married and not getting a separation agreement for another 2 years?
2. After 3 years of marriage he can apply for naturalisation- am I correct in thinking this, or is the reality a much longer process??

It just seems like such a waste of my own life with all the solicitor fees, time off work, anxiety and general hassle to get him residency in the first place...I would be willing to hang on and not file any separation papers with the courts yet if he could be naturalised in a few years. Otherwise he will have no right to remain in Ireland.

Thanks!

[acme4242]

Probably not worth playing happy families if your not even together
anymore.
Your ex-husband is on his own with regards legal rights.
If he resides 5 years legally in Ireland he may apply under his own right, the processing time is around another 3 years after that again.

best of luck to both of you.

[file girl]

Thanks for that, be interested to know if anyone else would give the same guideline for waiting time?

[craicindublin]

i got married to in 2004 my wife is from Dub we have 1 daughter together. I went through the same process got 1 year visa than after a year i got another year visa, wen i went back the third time they issued me 2 years stamp4 visa, after 4 years i got stamp4 visa until my passports validity which is 2011.
I applied for naturalization in 2007 after 3 years of being married and to this day i am still waiting to hear from DOJ.
Its a joke everytime i contact them they advised me to contact them in writing when i contact them in writing they send me same letter saying they are processing applications etc etc......
so annoying i swear to god. thats very good that youre standing by him but if youre not together than i dont see the point ... your situation is complicated but understandable .....

[walrusgumble]

Hi,

My non EU husband and I, an Irish citizen, married September 2008. He applied and received Stamp 4 in April 2009. Residency was only granted for 1 year's duration, so next month we will be asked to return to GNIB for interview.

We have been separated the last three months. I am unsure as to what the future holds for us personally as I am the one who left him.

I want to ask-
1. Is it worth remaining married and not getting a separation agreement for another 2 years?
2. After 3 years of marriage he can apply for naturalisation- am I correct in thinking this, or is the reality a much longer process??

It just seems like such a waste of my own life with all the solicitor fees, time off work, anxiety and general hassle to get him residency in the first place...I would be willing to hang on and not file any separation papers with the courts yet if he could be naturalised in a few years. Otherwise he will have no right to remain in Ireland.

Thanks!

whilst the minister says marriage, he really means a subsisting marriage ie not separated.

you would want to be careful on the citizensip matter, because the minister will look for evidence that ye are living together AND you as the irish citizen WILL have to sign a separate statutory declaration confirming that everything you are saying is true and that ye are married and that ye are family (see the application form) Take note, such declarations SHOULD NOT be taken lightly as fines etc can be imposed if one is economical with the truth.

If ye were to tel the truth and say they have broken up the minister would reconsider the husbands case and look at
1. length of relationship AND marriage (ye are buggered if anything less than 2 years imo)
2. Nature of breakdown of marriage
3. Any prospects of reconcilliation
4. Any joint financial commitments together (eg mortgage etc, as ye know yer commitments on this don't end just because ye are separated/divorce)
5. Any children, are parents fully part of childs live (this may help)

there are other issues that are looked at, eg domestic violence

the department are fully aware of these type of situations, they are not uncommon. they are also aware of situations where marriages have turned nasty and the irish spouse after being interviewed told immigration that the marriage has broken down, or the marriage has been alledged to be a bit of a sham or for immigration purposes

so whatever you do, have documentary proofs to back up what you say, as the immigration people are on the alert and i am sure you don't want to be questioned, if someone trying to get their stripes are suspicious. place like burg quay can be an undaunting place.

Ye are going for an interview? why, I thought normally ya just go in, and get stamped and thats it?

[file girl]

Hi,
Yes, it would just involve going into GNIB and getting another stamp for him in a few weeks. However, that would obviously be going against any separation agreement, as that would be cutting a few months off and starting the separation sometime after the second stamp.
I guess I just can't have it both ways, I just feel a tremendous amount of guilt on top of the usual divorce pain as I'm literally holding someone's future in my hands. Because he was only regularised in April last year, his time spent here for reckonable residence would be less than a year. I'm guessing he would have no grounds to stay here in his own right as he wan't on a work visa or anything.
Has anyone ever been through something like this- I mean having to have their ex spouse leave Europe because you decide to leave your marriage?
Thanks

[zafarzafar]

for sure he will loose his residency if you report him or do not cooperate.
his future is in ur hands and i don't know what kind of financial back ground he belong from, but i would say if you help some one GOD will you in any other shape or form.
Some people comes to Europe from a very difficult circumstances, and i din't know about ur husband back ground. I would say don't listen any one and help him if u could. I am saying all this because one of my friend was in the same situation where you are and he lost every thing because his wife reported him. he lost his residency, his job, his house, his family, infect every thing. and as a human being i would say to help him and if u believe on GOD he will help you for sure.

[SBT_Owner]

file girl , it is not for others to tell you what to do . The choice should be made in your mind and your heart . The input and views of others is not important . Other peoples views can be laced with poision .

Go with what your heart says , the gut instinct is allways correct .

Good luck !

i would say to help him and if u believe on GOD he will help you for sure.

Totally false . You may need to brush up on your bible .

Corinthians 4:2
Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception

Proverbs 26:26
His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly

2 examples there for you

[IrishTom]

Tell the truth. If you get caught out, their may be reprecussions. As ould granny IrishTom alwasy says, honesty is the best policy.

[file girl]

Yeah I'm just trying to weigh up which side is more important...going ahead with visa and living with fear of repercussions or else not doing visa and living with guilt
Something which may make the situation more clear- he has not worked since getting his stamp 4...it's only with the threat of divorce he has begun job hunting in earnest

[IrishTom]

Yeah I'm just trying to weigh up which side is more important...going ahead with visa and living with fear of repercussions or else not doing visa and living with guilt
Something which may make the situation more clear- he has not worked since getting his stamp 4...it's only with the threat of divorce he has begun job hunting in earnest

Having been through bad breaks up before, I can only imagine your predicament. However, in my experience lies never makes things better. The government are cracking down on "sham marriages". Chances are they will find out. Be very careful.

Sorry to hear about your recent break up, hopefully, things will get better soon. Maybe give the marriage a second crack?

[zafarzafar]

I wouldn't say much, its ur life but help him, u will be rewarded and u will have no guilt, its gauranted

[IrishTom]

I wouldn't say much, its ur life but help him, u will be rewarded and u will have no guilt, its gauranted

Rewarded with a nice grilling and a fine from the GNIB?

[Pakhtoon]

u will be rewarded and u will have no guilt, its gauranted

Are you a prophet ??

The OP, if she opts to help her husband will be cheating the system i.e deception.
She seems to have a good heart but both intention and act, have to be right.

A good intention with wrong act or wrong intention with good act, result in both the cases will be wrong. She can save her husband's residency but at the same time she will be commiting a crime and taking the risk of putting herself in trouble, besides of course, adding to the perception that EEA & non-EEA marriages are mostly sham.

As for feeling guilty that she is runing his life, first of all her husband must have been well-aware that divorce will result in him loosing his residency ( if he wasn't aware, then thats his fault ) and secondly, she married him because she wanted to be with him and not to get him residency. Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

There are many ways to help people but staying married with someone is not one of them and there are millions of people who need help more than her husband does.

As SBT_Owner said its upto the OP to decide but in my opinion, she should rather move on with her own life.

[walrusgumble]

for sure he will loose his residency if you report him or do not cooperate.
his future is in ur hands and i don't know what kind of financial back ground he belong from, but i would say if you help some one GOD will you in any other shape or form.
Some people comes to Europe from a very difficult circumstances, and i din't know about ur husband back ground. I would say don't listen any one and help him if u could. I am saying all this because one of my friend was in the same situation where you are and he lost every thing because his wife reported him. he lost his residency, his job, his house, his family, infect every thing. and as a human being i would say to help him and if u believe on GOD he will help you for sure.

God man /woman, you are a genuis!!!! completly ignore any potential trouble she might get into for lying to the department and GNIB if caught out. I only needs to take a fall out with a friend/work colleague / family member who knows your postion to put up a phone and start talking.

I ain't trying to scare you. In fact, if ye play yer cards right and both of ye say out of trouble it would not be spotted. but what ever you decide to do, just beware of the risks (in fairness there are risks in all life)

You owe this gentleman nothing. If you want to get legally separated without delay you can go ahead with what you want and start the clock in relation to judicial separation. If ye have no children/financial committments it makes it easier. You worry about yourself. However, you come across as a decent person and care for your husband, so think long and hard about this. THe realisation of one's marriage has ended is tough, and guilt and feeling of failure can come. But don't let his problems burden you with guilt. look after yourself. don't rush into anything yet, think about it.

God has nothing to do with this. You are well aware of stories of priests coming to broken families to try and plea not to divorce. THis is your problem, your issue, no one only you should decide what to do here. best of luck

[Monifé]

God has nothing to do with this. You are well aware of stories of priests coming to broken families to try and plea not to divorce. THis is your problem, your issue, no one only you should decide what to do here. best of luck

I second that.

I can understand how you are feeling, but in all honesty, I dont think there is much you can do.

1. You would have to keep up a pretence for 2 years.
2. You most definitely need a lot of proof that you were living together for the 3 years preceding the application for him to get citizenship.
3. You will probably have to swear an affidavit that the marriage is still subsisting.
4. And then there is still the 3-4 years waiting time for the result of the citizenship application.

Dont let anyone guilt you into doing something you dont want to do. If its a divorce you want and you feel there is no possible chance ever of you reconciling, then get one.

What country is he from? Maybe there is a possibility of him returning off his own bat? If not, he has not been here that long, is there possibility of a new life if he returned home?

Good luck with whatever you do

[file girl]

Thanks for all the advice. He is from Mauritius. Was here on a 6month student visa in 2005. He then overstayed it by 3 years or so., so was illegal. He was working on and off some places. We met each other, fell in love, was my idea to get married to regularise his status (it wasn't like he was conning me into anything).
Since we met, he wasn't working or studying, which annoys me in general since he got a massive opportunity handed to him on a plate when his residency came through.
Also the fact that I stayed in a job I hate just so both of us would have a steady income, and also that we couldn't travel anywhere as a normal couple would for so long.
It's my own fault for falling in love with him when I shouldn't have let myself go as far as marriage with this person, when all the warning signs were staring me in the face I guess.

[SBT_Owner]

No need to use a smiley .. you fell in love , that is not a crime and nothing to feel bad about .

My sister was taking for a ride by a Nigerian in which he used her to get a visa and money from her , it ended up in many lies with my sister having to pretend in court that they had been dating for 2 years (she had known him a few weeks) He got his visa and of course was nothing like the man he had painted himself out to be .
Be thankful that yours was a geniune relationship and nothing like what my sister went though . Marrying to help someone get a status is never a good idea in my opinion though .

Him overstaying and working illegally was his choice and is not your worry .

Dust ya self down and move on ! .

[file girl]

I want to thank SBT_Owner sincerely for that reply- I really need to hear some voices of reason at the moment. I'm fully aware this is not an agony aunt forum, as this is certainly not strictly a legal conundrum I am in.

All my family want me to completely step away from the marriage and get an agreed legal separation immediately, and failing that, a judicial separation.

Even though I believe that both of us were in love and still want the best for each other, maybe I need to be the party to take this final drastic measure...you gotta be cruel to be kind!!

Regarding your sister I have a lot of sympathy for her situation, and really feel sorry for her being completely abused financially and emotionally by the man and hope that she herself has by now kicked that dirt off her shoulder!!

I feel like starting a campaign to warn people never to rush into marriage purely because of immigration issues...it sure isn't a simple break up when there's any GNIB involved.

[SBT_Owner]

I hope you make the choice that is right for you and then you can happily move on with your life , my only advice would be to listen to your heart , it will guide you .

I think life is a precious gift but sadly it passes us by very quickly , so try to enjoy it as best you can and do not be to hard on yourself ! . Falling in love is certainly not a sin and is nothing to be upset about !

Take good care of yourself