Nobody talks about it on this forum !!!!

[AC77]

Hi,

I have been reading this forum for ages now, but always fail to understand why the hell nobody speaks about it .....

I came to this country a year ago on HSMP, looked for a job and got a decently paying job in a month....thought things gonna turn out pretty well now on.

It's been pretty OK on the professional side, but my social life has been nothing but a nightmare. I never realized, when I was in my home country(India), that this is such an important aspect of our lives. I am tired now.... and believe me guys there's nothing wrong with me. All the first generation DESI guys (and i stress on first generation) have the same feelings.... Everywhere I look, I just see impressions, stereotypes that people nurse about people of, i dare say, COLOUR.

I dare also say, that elusive britishness is still a mystery to me. If you are Indian you'll always be made to feel as an outsider. Whatever I saying could be so obvious to many of you that it goes without saying. But i never expected this before coming to this country. UK was always part of the "developed" world for me. But I guess a developed country doesn't necessarily mean developed minds.

Those of you who think of above as senseless rambling, let me put it most simply. It is damn damn hard to make good friends or build a social circle in this country for coloured people except if you want to go for friends of your colour. Excuse me guys if I sound dearly beloved but I am almost convinced this is a fact of life in this country.

I want to give a message to all Indians queued up for entry into this country....If you can live in parallel worlds, basically socially uncomfortable lives, living in shells, struggling to feel socially relaxed, you're most welcome to this country.

Come guys and live for yourselves !!!

[Keshav]

Many of my friends are suggesting same as you saying. May be "the clay from distance shines as gold". But let me tell you, many factors palys role to decide for immigration. Of course, money and lifestyle are prime ones.
In my case, I am quite happy in my country along with good status and freedom but the socio-political armed conflict is so severe and you cannot predict when you will be victim. That is the cause, I decided to go for HSMP. However, your cautious note is helpful to make up mind when I will be in UK later. Thanx.

[sen]

It's been pretty OK on the professional side, but my social life has been nothing but a nightmare. I never realized, when I was in my home country(India), that this is such an important aspect of our lives. I am tired now.... and believe me guys there's nothing wrong with me. All the first generation DESI guys (and i stress on first generation) have the same feelings.... Everywhere I look, I just see impressions, stereotypes that people nurse about people of, i dare say, COLOUR.

I dare also say, that elusive britishness is still a mystery to me. If you are Indian you'll always be made to feel as an outsider. Whatever I saying could be so obvious to many of you that it goes without saying. But i never expected this before coming to this country. UK was always part of the "developed" world for me. But I guess a developed country doesn't necessarily mean developed minds.

I totally agree!

Anyone outside office environment are not interested to make friends with immigrants. They are definetely not dearly beloved. They just are not ready to speak slowly and understand clean english. Its even worse if the skin color is tanned or dark. Worst ever is the children who never had a chance to look or speak to immigrants, they are clearly scared.
They need to accept the fact that the world is becoming a multicultural environment and realize how much of this country's tax revenue is contributed by us.

[simar]

Either earn for 3-4 years and went back to India or
Apply for Canada immigration( simple point based system) where the fist generation Indian both from India & h1b holders from us are moving in thousand So you won’t find home sickness in land of immigrants

[lynn132]

Just a note from a white HSMP holder that I have had the same issues- the British are just slow to get to know people. Most of my good friends here are immigrants as well, it has taken time to get to know others. It is worth getting past the "I don't know you that well" stage and making the effort to get past the Brits natural reserve toward strangers.

[sen]

I think LYNN is right!

looking at other immigrants owning local shops and working in awesome jobs they seem very successful. Its because they passed this stage of homesickness and have learnt to understand English's english and speak too. May be I should make more efforts to smile and get recognised by that ignoring next door neighbour.

[Rog]

I would like to share an incedent I experienced on the train ride back from work. A white British lout was sitting opposite me and occassionally glaring at me in a hostile manner. Then he had to make a call and his mobile battery died and I lent him my phone as he had to urgently pass a message to his wife. After that he suddenly became polite and asked me what I do. When I explained to him that I am an immigrant and both me and my wife work hard, pay taxes and do not claim a penny in state or child benefits his tone changed and he said he was earlier under the impression that all immigrants come here under some flimsy asylum grounds and live off the state. This anti immigrant impression is re inforced by tabloids with their constant negative ranting about immigrants swamping the UK and ultimate collapse of its amenities. I have felt this feeling in interactions with general masses with lower IQs who club us with various other migrants. However the educated and knowledgable Britons are very open and friendly to working and tax paying outsiders but unfortunately we get to meet a fewer of them.

[Rog]

I would like to share an incedent I experienced on the train ride back from work. A white British lout was sitting opposite me and occassionally glaring at me in a hostile manner. Then he had to make a call and his mobile battery died and I lent him my phone as he had to urgently pass a message to his wife. After that he suddenly became polite and asked me what I do. When I explained to him that I am an immigrant and both me and my wife work hard, pay taxes and do not claim a penny in state or child benefits his tone changed and he said he was earlier under the impression that all immigrants come here under some flimsy asylum grounds and live off the state. This anti immigrant impression is re inforced by tabloids with their constant negative ranting about immigrants swamping the UK and ultimate collapse of its amenities. I have felt this feeling in interactions with general masses with lower IQs who club us with various other migrants. However the educated and knowledgable Britons are very open and friendly to working and tax paying outsiders but unfortunately we get to meet a fewer of them.

[mayitbe]

This is the problem. I have been working here for some time and pretty feeling the same way, social life is running not very well.

Different culture, different point of view. We usually could go to pub, have fun, enjoy football etc.

But I am still feeling the difference.


Very good topic, cheers.