Advice needed - dependent parents

[alyxzandra]

My mother is 63, a double amputee who is on dialysis 3x a week. She has been married to my stepdad for 25 years and he is 55. My maternal grandmother (deceased) was an only child, my mother is an only child and I am an only child. My stepdad has been estranged from his family for over 20 years. Thus, there is no one left in the U.S. except my stepdad and my mother. My father, who lives clear across the country has been divorced from my mother for 41 years.

My mother has been in and out of hospital and recently did a 5 month stint in intensive care. For the last 10 years she has been through bouts of pneumonia, heart failure, a suicide attempt (she was sectioned) and so on. Basically, she is a very ill woman and it is well documented. She needs constant care, which is provided by my stepdad. However, he has had a heart attack and has slipped discs and finds he is having a hard time caring for her. If something happens to him then that is it.

My mom had a trust fund until last month when it all ran out. She now just gets her disability. My stepdad is trying to find work as it is not enough money. However, once he goes to work my mother will be left alone as there is no one else around. She has fallen out of bed many times (this is how she lost one leg) and really should not be alone. She is also prone to bed sores and the last time she was in hospital was because they got infected. I was told that the care she was receiving at home was not enough and she needed more. But, my stepdad has his own health issues and there is little help she can get there.

I am looking to start sending them money each month to assist them, but they are adamant my stepdad will find work. But, then this leaves my mother alone all day and she is unable to care for herself. However, they are looking for a cheaper place to live and I will most likely co-sign on it and send money.

My situation. I have been settled in the UK for 12 years. My husband is a UK citizen and his mother and stepdad are, as well. They own a house and we own a 2 bedroom property. We have a 3 year old son. Our combined gross income in £54,000, but we have a lot of financial outgoings. We will not be able to bring my mother over until they are cleared in 2 years as we could not handle it all. By this time my mother will be 65.

My concern is if my stepdad is going to go to work, which he insists on despite his health issues, and leaves my mother alone to her detriment, what would the possibility be for me to bring them over here? He would be working and not financially dependent, but my mother would be 65 and has severe health problems. As a double amputee with permanent ports in her chest, she is unable to cook for herself or care for her basic needs. I am also concerned as my stepdad has had a heart attack and he has slipped discs and in reality, could not adequately care for her. Her disability is around £600 per month.

I spoke to an immigration solicitor and was told that if we buy a bigger home (which we plan on doing anyway) our chances are good under human rights due to the exceptional circumstances. I am wondering what other people in the know think of this.

Thanks in advance for any advice.